best course of action when others actions are reflecting badly on you...?

[joko]

any tips or advice for this situation - in general...

i find if you either speak out, express your annoyance, explain, etc etc people dont seem to take it and think you are just being awkward or argumentative.

but surely if someones incompetence means some people think you are to blame, why shoudnt you speak out? express your feelings a bit?

obviously you be civil...not bandying swearwords or insults about but if you think someone has behave badly, incompetently, unprofessionally etc why is it frowned upon to say that to them...?
some people i think, in the long run, would benefit from being told straight...otherwise they just glide through getting away with things or worse - not even knowing theyve done anything wrong!

how do you handle this situation?

ive done nothing wrong, yet i now feel like a baddy for upsetting the person in question who has now decided i was speaking to her in an 'off' manner

well i bloody was! and she deserved it! so why do i feel bad...and why does it feel like the bosses are backing her too?

grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

any advice please?

thanks

[boxtops]

There is a fine line between assertiveness and confrontation - not everyone can tell the difference. If you have to feel bad, feel it because she's upset, not because you spoke your mind. I can speak mine too sharply sometimes, I'm lucky I've never got into trouble over it.

[boxtops]

^^ it's a bit like the thread the other night about saying sorry - you can be sorry someone's upset, but not sorry that you've said the right thing.

[joko]

very true boxtops..i did apologise to her if she took my comments as nasty as they werent meant to be ...but i did assert that i meant what i said

all she seems bothered about is ' how dare i speak to her like that'
no apologies or promises to rectify the situation...just indignance.

she is a bit useless an bit of a joke in the job really...gets herself into trouble but appears to have no idea why...bizarre...

its annoyign because it makes you think twice about helping someone next time

[ummmm]

Don't take this wrong Joko...but are you the same in real life as you are on here? Because sometimes on here you can come across as aggressive and quite dismissive.

I've known you as a user for quite some time now so am used to how you are on here....more sensitive people may not though.

[lardhelmet]

Good grief joko! This is scary! Just read your post and realised I could have written it myself! When this happens in our office and if I (dare) to say what everybody else is thinking, I'm always classed as the baddie and it ends up being my fault!

They're all so worried about being p.c., they put up with all sorts of cr@p from the staff - it's outrageous!

[joko]

umm...yes i suppose i can be at times, but cant we all?
and also its often misconstrued online and in text too, and not intentional...but of course im more politely firm and cautious in real life and work.
this woman is known for being gobby and freely admits she is...thinks it excuses all she says and does by admitting it....
but some people cannot handle any negativity no matter how polite you are.

that is not really the issue here though...the question is about how to handle others incompetence when it reflects on you
whats the best way to deal with it?
you cannot say nothing surely as people will just assume it was your fault when its wasnt

and yes lard...for some reason speaking your mind when warranted is a big no-no and instead of listening to your justified grievances, some just label you a moaner...

its the same if you complain in a shop or restaurant...everyone rolls their eyes and tuts regardless of why you are doing it, because you 'making a fuss' and thats just ' not british'