Neighbour threatening to call police....

[Jibergrt]

because my son (who is 18) and his mates (2, also aged 18) sit outside the front of our house and chat at night. He has been around a couple of times now and this afternoon threatened that next time he will call the police. The problem is that they sleep in the front of the house with their (single glazed) window open. We sleep at the front of the house with our (double glazed) window closed and genuinely don't hear a thing. The neighbour has accused us of lying about not hearing anything and has said that he will report us to the police as 'problem' neighbours - which I am truly appalled at. We never complained when his teenage daughter and him used to have rows at 1am that woke us up through the walls of the house! I am so angry, but don't know what to do. I have had strong words with my son and his mates - they are not by any means trouble makers, but they don't realise that sound travels far more at night. Any suggestions?

[Ethel]

Let your son and his two mates chat inside your house, or in the back garden,

[Fay Mousse]

Yes - after 11pm, get your son and his mates inside the house, or in the back garden.

[Jibergrt]

So if they were in the back garden would that make a difference? I know then that the neighbour may not be able to hear them, but presumably it makes no difference if the neighbour called the police whether they were in the front or the back? The reason they are outside is that we won't let them smoke in the house, so they go out for a fag. The neighbour has said that he didn't think my son was causing the problem but his mates, who I have now banned from coming around - but how can I ban his mates from the street outside? I'm not one of these people who thinks their little johnny can do no wrong, but to be honest I really think the neighbour is over reacting.

[bednobs]

i dont think its a case of whether the front or back holds more legality - it's a case of neighbour relations. Your son is making your neighbour's nights a misery, therefore if they cant hear him because he's in the back garden problm solved. it seems a reaonable compromise to me, and will prevent more problems

[Fay Mousse]

There's the crux - you won't let them smoke in your house because you don't like it.

Your neighbour doesn't like the noise and disturbed sleep. If the neighbour isn't disturbed by normal conversatoin at the back, let them use the back garden.

[Postdog]

I don't think your neighbour is over reacting at all really. Why should they get double glazing or sleep with the window shut just to keep out noise that shouldn't be there in the first place?

Calling the police won't do any good though, it's an environmental health matter

[madmondeo]

what time are they hanging about outside at night?

[scoobydooby]

Don't fret too much over the previous reply. Very similar username to mamjet me thinks!

Postdog is correct, it's not a police matter and will only be dealt with by Environmental Health.

I am always very aware of how much noise my children are making and am constantly moaning about the noise the neighbours might hear.............god, hubby and I have had silent sex for the past 7 years!! However, it does depend how often this happens. Every Saturday? Maybe acceptable but every night probably isn't !!

The back garden sounds good. You could buy a bucket and fill with sand for their ciggie ends.

[Jibergrt]

Thanks for your replies. This is only the 2nd time it's ever happened (last time was last summer), so it really isn't every weekend - let alone every night! Up until recently we had good relationships with our neighbours, but to be honest he seems to be p***ing off a lot of people for various reasons. I am just concerned because we are really quite good neighbours - I have never ever fallen out with anyone where I live and I am concerned that him having a strop could cause all manner of problems. Anyway, thanks for your replies and Tetjam, thanks for your adult attitude and indepth knowledge of me and mine.

[jno]

do you mean your son has only talked outside twice or your neighbour has only complained twice? If the former, environmental health will not be interested. But if the latter, yes, get them out the back; and maybe just suggest they lower their voices? There's no law requiring silence, but sound does carry across fences and people do get kept awake.

[Pesk]

This is sio relelvant to me that I thought I might be the neighbour for a moment! My neighbour's foster boys - both 17/18 sit outside their house, directly under our bedroom window to smoke & talk. It really disturbed us even though they weren't rowdy just talking quietly. After a few sessions I went round and asked my neighbour if the boys could avoid doing it after 11 at night. I also added that we could hear everything in the conversation including the phone numbers of who they intended buying their drugs from that weekend. The boys are rarely there now! My point is that it really was a problem as once they were outside talking & we were in bed, we had no control over the situation and had no idea if they would get noisier, go in, stay out etc. Even though your neighbour sounds not nice, I understand his point of view.

[BRAVO1]

Remember : If your not part of the solution then your part of the problem.

My son's used to sit in the car outside playing drum and base music, they used to play football and mess about, but I used to ask my neighbours on a regular basis if it was a causing a problem. On the one occasion one neighbour said his kids were being kept awake by the noise I made sure my son's never disturbed any of my neighbours again.
I would knock on my neighbours door if I was being kept awake and visa versa, because thats the adult way.

My neighbours all say hello to each other ,and we have elderly people living in our street.

As a parent we have a responsibility, not only to our children but others who our children may annoy or distress.

Sometimes a little thought goes a very long way.

Give respect - Gain Respect - Live Happy !!