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Thanks for your response - I am definitely not throwing a hissy fit I can assure you of that.
The joint property is worth, minimum, �250k so there is well enough equity in the house for her to downsize and still accommodate for the children along with staying in the area.
Im in no way being malicious or ill minded towards her but if I continue the next 8 yrs like this, til the youngest turns 18, then it is going to be really difficult for me to help financially with the children which I want to do ....