who to leave my child with

[smartie733]

my partner and i are writing a will, we hav a 3 month old son and agreed should we both die that he will live with my cousin. can any member of either of our families take this to court if they would rather he lived with them?

[Androcles]

Silly question, but presumably your cousin has agreed and you will make include financial, moral issues etc in your will?

[smartie733]

yeah of course cousin agreed and all other aspects sorted but other family members may not agree like our parents etc

[redcrx]

well perhaps you should explain your reasons to your parents now and hopefully they would undertsand. If the worst was ever to happen then they would be better prepared to accept your wishes

[tamborine]

yes - can be contested by NOK (both sides) & social services.

[Androcles]

I'm sure some of the AB Lawyers can give you chapter and verse, but I would supect that it will be best if you get a solicitor to draw the will up, quite clearly expressing your wishes and the arrangements you have made that you wish your cousin to become the legal guardian of the child.

[tamborine]

even solicitors Wills can be contested.

[smartie733]

thank you all we are doing it through a solicitor

[annie0000]

When we did our will, we put in that it was our wish that X & X brought up our children but that should circumstances change, and depending on the age of the children at the time, their wishes and should be taken into account and that the trustees of our estate should consider our wishes, the childrens wishes and those of others who felt in a position to raise the children when agreeing where the children should be brought up. My husband and I both come from large families but in the main our siblings children are older than ours and in fact have grandchildren not too much younger. The children only have one surving grandparent who is fairly elderly. We then arranged that there are trustees from both sides of the family together with our solicitor to ensure that the best needs of the boys are taken into account. Since we made our will, the people we selected have split up, then gotten back together and have their own grandchild. That doesn't make them bad people or unsuitable to bring up our kids, but may make them not want to if and when the time came. At the end of the day, we are lucky in that there is no-one on either side that we would be unhappy with raising our children and I know that they would not be left with a loving home should the worst happen.

I think the best you can do is make your wishes clear to your solicitor and the other trustees and remember that it is statistically very unlikely that your plans would ever have to come into play.

[Panic Button]

Why would they contest it, if you make your wishes known in a legal document?

[smartie733]

we have very different families who live about 2 hours away from each other and some may feel that they are more immidiate family and wont see him as much

[northernmonkey]

how old are you & your partner? This seem's rather extreme step to be taking as your son is only 3 months old

[fredpuli47]

You appoint someone, here your cousin, as a testamentary guardian in your wills. That person has 'parental responsibility' on your both being dead. His or her appointment takes effect if there is no other person, with parental responsibility already ,surviving.

This is a standard provision in wills, where people have young children.

Any other member of the family would have to challenge the guardian as being not a fit and proper person i.e. they'd have to involve social services for the child's protection and best interests. They can't simply say 'we'd rather he lived with us' That would be asking the court to go against your wishes somemnly declared in your wills, in effect it's challenging the will.The court won't substitute their wishes for yours.