assult on son

[ruby25]

Hello,

My son (9 yrs) stayed with me over the easter break during which time I smacked him on the bum! He had been rude and swearing. He returned home and a few weeks later I had a call from his social worker asking if I had smacked him, I said I had. They have now got the police involved they have interviewed him and he has accused me of smacking with an open hand around the head side and bum (I would never smack my children on the head) he is monitored by social services at his mothers (the school raised concerns about him being dirty and not being cleaned properly after bed wetting!) so during his regular interview he made the allegations (I don't know why he has said this) When I smacked him my other son, my partner, my brother and my girlfriends mum were present, they all saw me smack him on the bum (trousers on).

Ok so my other son lives with me (13 yrs) and social services are saying that if I am charged there will be concerns about his safety if living with me so I am now worried he will be taken away, he is doing very well at school there have never been any concerns raised and he isn't known by social services.

Will I be charged? Can they take away my son?

[China Doll]

If you are charged then there will be concerns and social services will be involved either as a child in need/child at risk etc... They are unlikely to swoop down and take him away from you, social services don't very often want to ake children from the family, but they will monitor him.

If he is being monitored (the child that made the allegation) then in what sense? Does he have a child protection plan? Is he a child in need? Has there been a strategy meeting?

[China Doll]

How long has it been going on for? What category are they involved in? (neglect, emotiona abuse, at risk etc).

[ruby25]

Hi China Doll, thank you for you answer. In respose to your questions;

Yes the 9 yr old does have a protection plan as he was going to school in a very unkept state and smelly from bed wetting, his mother was very uncooperative with social services initally, there has been a strategy meeting and the plan is being implemented, his state at school has improved and the condition/clenliness of the home has also improved. My other son the 13 yr old has come from this home, so he has the same mother, I didn't make this clear and I have been trying to get social services involved for years but have been fobbed off! The week before these allegations were made my ex wife had asked for an increase in maintainance which I refused, my ex will have no qualms about influencing my youngest son and I feel that social services are playing into her hands. I understand that this needs looking into but there are no marks on my son so surely we could have all had a meeting on this?

[China Doll]

Has he had a medical? I would have thought that a child on a protection plan with alledged physical violence would have been taken for a medical in which the injuries would be documented, and where possible, the doctor will state if the injury is consistent with the story that has been told. Following on from that, another strategy meeting would be held and discussion about what needs to happen etc... I would think from this strategy meeting that your 13 year old son would also be monitored in terms of the allegation (depending what the medical says) and I would anticipate some possible visits including unannounced ones. It's my experience that the school nurse or teacher can be involved in these meetings as well to give an overall impression of the child - medical, social and how they're developing and doing in school.

I have known one case where three children have been taken away from thier parents due to neglect and an unexplained injury - harshly in my opinion but that's neither here nor there - before this happened there were several lenthy meetings, and a court case. So I do think that no one is going to swoop in and take your 13 year old away from you. The only time I have seen this happen recently are when we have had some A&E admissions and the cause of the injury was in one case a witnessed physical assault by a parent and a case where the injury to a baby was clearly inflicted by a parent. These are extreme cases I would say (I am NOT a solicitor and I would appreciate their input), and I do not think bear a simiar resemblence to your own.

Cont...

[China Doll]

Do you know the named social worker for your 9 year olds case? I would suggest that you put your concerns to them, a lot of people are afraid of social workers and what they can do and don't always think about what they can actually offer. Plus, I know you read horror stories in the paper but most social workers are pretty savvy and have seen and can see through a lot more than they will necessarily let on. They are trying to act in the best interests of the child and if your partner has been non-co-operative, them rolling in there, shouting the odds and telling her she's a bit of a crap mum ain't really going to make her more co-operative. I would suggest that you let the socail worker know of your concerns in a calm and reasonable manner without making allegations. You should also be prepared to answer why you declined additional maintenance (not saying you should, just that you might have to explain it).

Also try not to turn it in to a you v the ex thing. It is the welfare of the child that is obviously paramount and if the social workers think that you are both more willing to score points off the other rather than concentrating on the child, then that will raise some alarm bells. Again, I'm not saying this is what you are doing, just advising how things can be perceived.

[ruby25]

As far as I am aware there were no marks or injuries reported and no Drs involved - in ant case I smacked him on the bum while he had his trousers on and I didn't smack him hard enough to cause a bruise etc, also this wasn't reported until 3 weeks later.
I do know the social worker and have fully co-operated my concerns are that my elder son has moved in with me and reported abuse in her home, social services themselves are monitoring my younger son there due to neglect yet because I will not accept bad languge from my youngest and I smacked him on the bum (I haventy tried to lie or hide this fact) The police are involved!

[ruby25]

My partner is a secondary school teacher with 20 yrs experiance and we both find my little boys behaviour challlenging to say the least but from her perspective it is worrying incase he were to make an allegation against her, she has never smacked my children but on occasion has told them off but it really is only the youngest with problems and I believe this is due to lack of routine, lack of loving attention, rules and following through with punishments.
My reasons for refusing to increase the maintainance were that I am earning the same as when this was last looked at yet now we have a son each and I still pay her for the youngest but recieve nothing from her as she is on benefits, surely I shouldn't really pay anything yet I am!
So essentialy this case revolves around my youngest saying I slapped him around the head and the side when I smacked him on the bum, there are no marks and has been no doctors examination 3 adults and my other son were present when I smacked him and all saw i smacked him on the bum only - why is this continuing?

[China Doll]

I would be very suprised if there was no medical at all. Three weeks later it unlikely they would be able to find marks etc.. but I would be suprised if a child claiming physical violence on a neglect plan had no medical at all even just to check all is ok and there are no other unusual marks or scars. If the police are involved I would find it more suprising.

It is continueing because one of your children is on a child protection plan and because the other child may need to be monitored as a child in need because of the problems within the family. I think I will now leave you in the hands of any passing solicitors as I do not feel I can be of futher use.