charged for 2 counts of Common Assault

[stupid1]

i was arrested and charged with 2 counts of common assault on my wife. and i am worried about where this will end up. i have been more "angry" of late and this has now really scared my wife and me
i am not violent as a rule but this occured when i was drunk and i flew into a blind rage while under the influence. no excuses, this has scared the xxxx out of me and i have arranged some counselling to find out how and where this rage came from.
what happened is quite hazy but my account is as follows :
we started arguing after i came in from pub
i flew into rage when she would not listen and grabbed my wife's wrists and pushed her quite hard against a door shouting at her and apparently grabbed her round the neck from behind (altho do not remember this) i went into the living room where my wife was on the phone and started whacking my head on the floor ?! i then went to kitchen i kicked open the back door and went outside shouting and ended up hurting my arm somehow ? then i ran off down the road only to turn around and hand myself over to the police who had arrived.
i then find out my wife mentioned a previous argument that happened a few weeks back where i had grabbed a cup from her and smashed it on the floor of the kitchen and i said yes that it did happen and they have charged me with 2 counts of common assault ? i hold my hands up and have pleaded guilty so far but my wife said that she did not want me to "go down" for this but she said there is no point in pulling her statement as the police will charge whatever.
due in court in a couple of weeks and i am really worried that i am going to end up jobless and homeless due to one idiotic episode that has brought my world crashing down. i have agreed to stay with a friend for a few days to give my wife some space but am worried that she will not have me back/ that i will serve a custodial sentence/ lose my job/family and sanity ! please help !!

[sara3]

what's your question?

I wouldn't have you back after that "episode". are you getting any help with your anger management and drink issues?

[piggynose]

hi stupid1, you first of all need moral support. and the blessing of at least 1 ab. if you said is true that this fit of rage was out of character, then the sooner you get some counselling the better. how long have you known your wife? was you relationship with originally a loving one, do you love her. i´m no expert, but i think you´ve come to the right place for advice. but as sara3 said, what is it you want? if you just wait, you should get several ab´s replying to this thread.
good luck

piggy

[bobjugs12]

Aww diddums. So you got drunk, and beat up on your wife. Then you come onto a website bleating away about "how worried you are about yourself" and "how you don't want to lose x,y, and z".

I've got a novel suggestion. Be a man and accept your punishment. I accept you're gonna be worried, but don't give it big about demon drink, and blind rage.
We all make our mistakes and we all live with the consequences. Your turn now big man!!

[northernmonkey]

all I can say is
Stay away from the drink, get court and sentence given to you .. wether custodial or other....over and done with. If you end up losing your wife as a consequence then despite how much you'd rather not - face upto the fact and move your life onwards. Otherwise I think your going to have some very diffcult times in the next 12 months - could be sent down for quite abit if your up in court for Violence - so be careful about which path you choose !!

[stupid1]

i am staying off the drink - and i have some sessions with a therapist to find out what the hell went wrong and where this has come from i have mentioned to my wife as she will need to speak with someone after me scaring the living daylights out of her.
i am currently staying at my dad's at her request for a short break to have some space but i am still looking after my daughter at home when my wife is working evenings.
i suppose my main question is what is the likelihood to me serving a custodial in this scenario - i pleaded guilty in the police station.
i am not looking for an answer to make me feel better - i have accepted the fact that i have acted atrociously and will accept any punishment due however i would like to know what the future is to hold for me when i turn up in court ?

[society]

I have no sympathy or compassion for you. I can just imagine what your 'probably scared at the time' wife must have gone through.

[stupid1]

not looking for compassion or sympathy and am fully aware of how much hurt i have done through my actions. i am however looking for a rational answer to the details i have given.

[sara3]

well this looks like a regular wind up to me. why post so many gory details of your attack, then gripe when people are suitably shocked?

"I assaulted my wife, I have no previous convictions, what sentence can I expect on a guilty plea?" would have been sufficient.

anyway, I'm sure someone will see past the unnecessary stuff and tell you what sentence to expect.

next time you do this, cut down on the thought provoking info.

[society]

Those were my thoughts too, Sara. You noticed the name... Stupit1.

[New Judge]

The maximum penalty for Common Assault is 6 months custody and/or a fine of £5,000.

The circumstances you describe are at the lower end of the seriousness scale and the most likely disposal the magistrates will use is a Conditional Discharge. This means there will be no punishment if you commit no further offences within the period of the discharge, but if you reoffend you can be punished for this offence as well as the newer one.

However, the offence is aggravated by the fact that you were drunk and that it was committed within a “domestic” setting. There is a possibility that the Bench will consider a community order (probably with some type of probation service supervision to help you address your problems). But from what you say you have recognised that you have a problem and have taken steps to address it. This may be enough to persuade the magistrates that a Conditional Discharge is still appropriate.

It may be worth your while engaging a solicitor to put this before the court. You will be unlikely to receive Legal Aid, but it may be money well spent.

[bobjugs12]

The annoying thing is that we had the lass yesterday who was in real need of help, yet we have these sorts of pr1cks who bleat on about "woe is me, i only chinned her twice, so it's not really assault, blah blah blah"

[New Judge]

Spot the difference:

"...i flew into a blind rage while under the influence. no excuses, this has scared the xxxx out of me and i have arranged some counselling to find out how and where this rage came from...i hold my hands up and have pleaded guilty so far"

~~~~~

"woe is me, i only chinned her twice, so it's not really assault, blah blah blah"


I imagine it scared the xxxx more out of his wife than it did of him and I don't condone stupid1's actions for one second.

But it seems that neither does he.

[stupid1]

i am just scared frightened and upset that i was capable of doing something like this - i am fully aware of the effect this has had on my wife and i am more worried for her than i am for me.
Thankyou all for your comments, good and bad. you have all been helpful in your own way. i have my first therapy session soon so lets see where that takes me. Fingers crossed that my wife and i can get through this and come out the other side stronger and more secure than ever.

[ummmm]

Why are you seeing a councellor? You problem is pretty obvious...you're a nasty drunk. Look at the fights at the weekend....drink = trouble. Stop drinking and be a man...what's all the crap about therapy? To get a lesser sentence....

[al44smith]

I was done for a very similar thing. I was 43 and never had any convictions or cautions for violence. My girlfriend and I had a drunken argument which ended in a fight, both myself and her ended up with bruising. She called the police and I was arrested. Subsequently she claimed she wished to drop the charges but the police said they were going ahead. I received a two month jail sentence suspended for two years and a £500 fine and had to pay £480 in compensation and ordered onto an IDAP course. The IDAP (Integrated Domestic Violence Programme) is a 9 month intensive course of 2.5 hours a week and quite hard going. Despite the fact I was also "injured". If you check out the sentencing guidelines they became much harsher in March 2008, and are definitely in favour of the woman. Had it been the other way around the police would not have been interested. Sorry but it is not a particularly just world. Next time don't get into a fight and if you are a drinker - stop now before you are sentenced and get on some sort of help from a rehab programme (this will go down well in court). Hope this helps. Ignore the unpleasant posts - they have not been there, we can all do silly things in the heat of the moment. Al.

[AlBags]

Be a man .. Stop drinking.
Get down on your knees to the wife
Go to court and prime your solicitor with the request to do a Domestic violence course with probation if it comes to sentencing.
If you both want to repair some of the damage, your wife could help you to help her by helping you to one of these courses.
Good luck. At least you recognise a few of your problems.

[donspy]

same here in NZ got charged with 2 X Common Assault -Domestic (Manually) Summary
what did the judge give you?