Dead Mother's Bank Account

[jackiegerm]

My mum died in a hospice on Wednesday (during my sister's visit) after living with my family F.O.C. for the last 13 years.
On Thursday my sister emptied her bank account, apparently to distribute the monies to 3 named people (unbeknown to us).
We are arranging the funeral and paying the costs.
Surely she can't do that?

[boxtops]

^ and ps I can't beleive that the hospice just handed over the bank cards - where's their duty of care about your mother's personal property?

[jackiegerm]

Yes, I'm confused over that as well as they were phoning all mum's "friends" that they had phone numbers for and all (of course) were saying "it's not me". They were obviously glad we had tracked them down, but we've had no further explanation

[Mamyalynne]

Were you not down as next of kin at the Hospice, strange they needed to phone round.

[jackiegerm]

Yes, I was next of kin. They phoned around the "friends" as the cards had (they said) been signed out to one of them, but they couldn't read the signature. Afraid for themselves, I guess, they went on a mission to try and find who had signed for them. I'm guessing the signature wasn't clear as my sister didn't wan't anyone to know it was her. It's various people who hand these items over and if my sister's signature had been clear it would be obvious to everyone who had them. Which she obviously didn't want, the person we spoke to probably didn't recognise either of the families surnames and presumed it must have been a friend. As to why they would have handed them over to a "friend" is unbelieveable. Bearing in mind mum was drugged to the eyeballs with morphine, falling asleep every few minutes, anything could have been said, done and signed and within a few minutes she would be back asleep with no recolation of who was there before she fell asleep. I'm bewildered but don't really want to give a Hospice grief (which gives so many people help) when it's my sister that has duped them.

[twix123]

Please accept my condolences for your loss.

If your sister also used your Mothers Pension Card after her death, I believe this would also be tantamount to fraud.

[jackiegerm]

Twix and everyone else, thanks for your advice, I'm now in motion to get legal rights, who would believe you'd have to do this to your sister? Beggers beleif. Plus how could my sister do that to me, just worked out over 13 yrs cost us over £30,000 to have mum stay with us - thats a low estimate of £2.5k a year. She's got some cheek, hopefully some embarrasment from the police and bank will make them regret their decision.

[Jumbo747]

Jackie, keep thinking of you this morning..........do let us know how you get on to-day. :)

[LoftyLottie]

This seems to happen so often after a death in the family. I find it appalling. We had problems with one of Mr LL's siblings when their mother died and haven't spoken since. Not on this scale though. And it always seems to occur with siblings that have played no part in the parent's care or have never visited them. This is what happened in our case.

Good luck Jackie. You shouldn't have to be doing all this at such a sad time.

[jackiegerm]

I didn't go today as I was on the phone for hours trying to find someone to do the flat clearance plus going thro' everything of mum's to see if there was anything of value to try and sell to cover some of the funeral costs (it's not cheap to die these days...) - no luck. I work 7 days a week and self employed, so hubby will do my work on Monday and I will go to bank, post office (pension card), register death, see a solicitor and go back to hospice to get a photocopy of the signee for the cards. No cards or explanation came via Royal Mail today, regardless of whether they turn up or not, I will go ahead as planned on Monday as text message is evidence(?) and sister's hubby wrote the text stating they had withdrawn the monies. To top it all the assisted sheltered care home (which mum has stayed at for the last few months, as she wan't able to get up the stairs to our place and the carers popped in every hour 24/7), popped a letter under her door today, addressed to Mum (!, they knew she had passed!) stating that her elec/gas bill was £150! We were under the impression (from mum) that bills were included! I think we have been duped again as on the 5th Dec the care home called me to say NHS were no longer covering the cost of cleaning and laundry - so I have been paying for that. Now thinking about it, mum wasn't in there long enough to get "quarterly bills" so I'm guessing we will have more bills coming thro' for the other utilities?
Now I'm getting really paranoid, did Mum plan all this with my sister before she died, as they had been estranged for 12 years and Mum had to make it up to her? And basically screw us over? I'm at a loss and I'm sure there will be more to unravel as times goes on but will focus on issues at hand and deal with anything else as it turns up. My sister's husband is a high socialite in North Wales so maybe a tip off to the local newspaper might be in order after I see a solicitor and get it legally confirmed that what they did was fraud? Just a thought, sweat revenge - even if we can't recoup what was in mum's account?

[LoftyLottie]

Oh dear. It's very late when you post, try to relax. You have a lot to deal with. Keep us poted.

[boxtops]

Jackie - I know you might not want to do this, but IMO you really do need to speak to the Hospice Manager about this breach of security in giving out your mum's cards to just anyone, without getting a signature or seeing some evidence that they were entitled to take it. The hospice will/should have a policy and guidelines about patients' personal possessions (I know they did when I worked there) and these don't seem to have been followed, otherwise you wouldn't be in this position now. If you google the name of the Hospice, you'll find the right person to speak to on the website - don't just use Contact Us, try to find the name of the person in charge overall.

[boxtops]

^ legible signature

[LochNessMonster]

Sorry to hear of your sad loss jackiegerm, my toughts are wih you.

Nessie TLNM xxxx

[Jumbo747]

Hope all is well, Jackie - thinking of you.

[jedimistress]

Hi Jackie. How did you get on? Did you tell the police or the hospice etc? Hugs to you.

[jackiegerm]

Hi everyone, thanks for your help. My husband took over the situation as I was getting too over whelmed with it all. He actually managed to speak to my sister's husband yesterday. It would appear that they were under the impression that mum had life insurance and I would sort everything out for the funeral, so they helped her auction off her valuables and jewels. They checked mum's account and there was only £8 left and were told, by mum, to divide the money along with the money from the hospice to her friends. The money from the hospice (£200, it was sis's hubby who had signed for it), they said, has been sent to her very old friend in Canada. Whatever, I'm certainly not going to beg her to return it, if she got it! BUT, Frank then went on to tell sis's hubby that we are devasted with mum's actions, and them for not answering our calls as the little funds we have has resulted in a budget funeral up in Blackpool. The result - "Send us what you were going to spend and we'll upgrade for a nice cremation in London so everyone (all bar me! I can live with that, just so hurt at the moment) can celebrate mum's life..." We are having our own memorial for Mum with her friends after. The thought of watching mum diasappearing through curtains after watching dad do the same isn't appealing at all.

[boxtops]

jackie, do you believe them? £8 left, after she'd auctioned off jewellery and valuables? - so where have the proceeds gone? I'm sorry but this just doesn't sound right - they appear out of the blue, and suddenly there's £8 left? This is such a horrible time for you when you should be mourning your mum without all this unpleasantness....

[himupnorth]

Get legal advice tomorrow. Can't believe £8, it's not reasonable. Many solicitors will give the first meeting free. If you've been estranged for 10 years they will have no loyalty to you, why show them any. Legal advice is the only way.

[jackiegerm]

I think the auction was back in May when she visited my sis for the last time (?). I'm presuming they gave mum the cash as she was still mobile then and suddenly a new TV/DVD was purchased, then new computer etc - we didn't think anything of it as she said they were damaged seconds and drastically reduced - in your own world mum. I thought maybe she'd been getting and ins from dad's death and never told us, but no - seems auctions of her worldy goods were paying for this. I'm devastated, she had one grand-child, our daughter, and she'd rather give her mobile hairdresser she's know for 3 years a deathbed gift than Daniella. I can't even describe how she feels, she used to pop in and see her after college 3-4 times a week and help take tesco shopping at weekend. ANYWAY, IT'S SORTED NOW AND MUST THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING IN ANYWAY YOU DID, hopefully you'll never hear from me again, fingers crossed...

[boxtops]

jackie, we hope we will - keep in touch, we are very sad for your situation.