Please Help, How Can I Get The Police To Act On Being Stalked?

[lucyshandbag]

My friend is a 32 year old single parent of twin 12 year old girls. Recently she has been targeted by a local 15 year old boy, who seems to have taken a very unhealthy obsession with her. So far he has been in her shed (where she keeps her tumble dryer) and hung her underwear up around the shed, stolen underwear and other things from her car, entered her house (which was unlocked while she was at work next door) and emptied her underwear draw all over her bed, and then tonight has tried to enter her house through the back door while she was there, alone with her children, and he had 2 friends with him. Luckily her door was locked and she has alarms on them now since he has been doing these things. He walks past her house repeatedly every day, and has been seen hanging around her house by neighbours. Her dad caught him trying to open her back door a few weeks ago and her neighbour has just witnessed him and his friends leaving her house seconds after her alarms went off. The problem is the police, they say he hasn't committed a crime and so can't do anything about it. This boy goes to the same high school as her girls and lives around the corner from her, though she or her girls have never had any contact with him. He is well known in our area as his family have somewhat of a reputation and the police and the school have admitted they know the family well as they have had many dealings with them, but still won't do anything about it, not even go and talk to the lad. Is this right? Is there a crime here or anything she can do to make them do something about it? She is terrified, as are her kids, and it seems insane that the police are just shrugging it off. When does this kind of behaviour count as harrassment or stalking? He's been in her house and through her underwear and completely ignored an iPad that was right there on her bed, so he's not out to steal from her, it's just some scary obsession, but what would him and his friends done if they had have got in to her house tonight? They knew she was there coz her car was there and they tried getting in minutes after she turned the lights off to go to bed. Please can someone give me some tips for her so she can make the police act on this as she is too scared to sleep now and this can't go on. Any help is much appreciated.

[Mamyalynne]

You need to go above your local police force and appeal to the police commisioner for your area, this is something that needs acting on.

[shoota]

Which country are you in Lucy?

[cassa333]

I wouldn't want to alarm her or anything but if this lad is obsessed with her then I would be just as worried about him making alligations of sexual contact.

He knows what sort of underware she has and the colour of her duvet cover, probably what colour her toothbrush is.

Why didn't the police act on the boy entering the house?
Why in gods name did she leave the house and leave the door unlocked?

If she can invest in recordable cctv. Keep a log of anything that goes on and call the police every time he does anything illeagllll.

[ChillDoubt]

I presume you are in the UK. If not, you may need tpo seek assistance elsewhere.

If (as alleged) he has stolen items of underwear then he has committed theft, so the Police can arrest him on suspicion.
Failing that, he is at the very least contravening Section 5 of the Public Order Act (behaviour likely to cause alarm, harrasment or distress).
As there are supposedly witnesses to this youth being seen at her property she must speak to the Police again and insist on making a statement of complaint.

[lucyshandbag]

Thanks for the quick responses everyone. I am in the UK. The police said that as they can't prove this lad has stole her underwear they can't do anything about it. At the time the underwear was stolen she didn't know who it was and naively didn't even bother to contact the police. She only discovered who it was the day after she realised he had been in her house and through her underwear draw, she had called the police and they were really good that night, they arranged for her to have alarms fitted and put her name on a list to loan a security camera. They told her forensic's would be there in the morning to take finger prints, but when they got there the next day they refused to do it because they said other people may have touched the door handle since the incident, and she had put her underwear back in her draw so her fingerprints would probably have rubbed his away. It was later that day that her dad caught this lad trying to get in her house, when he asked what he was doing the lad gave a false name and said he was calling for her daughter (who was in school and does not even know this lad). My friend then went and found the lad (we live in a very small town and everyone knows everyone by sight) and he admitted he had just been to her house but denied all the other things. he also started telling her how he knows her because she reversed her car past him a few weeks earlier) it was then that people started saying they had seen him hanging around her house but presumed he was her neighbours friend (which he isn't). She lives next to a hair salon and the owner has since said he walks past over and over again all day. The police just don't seem to be taking it seriously, and she can't even go and talk to the lads family as their reputation terrifies her, it just doesn't seem right! And I know she was stupid leaving her door unlocked, though in her defence she works for her dad right next door to her back door and so often nips back for a drink or to use the toilet, just thank god she didn't nip back and catch him, who knows what he would have done? There must be some way to get the police to take this serious???

[ChillDoubt]

As your friend has witnesses who can corroborate what she is saying she needs to ask for a visit from a local officer at the very least.
She needs to be a little more persistent in pursuing the matter, that's all.

[joko]

newspapers?

as long as you dont identify the lad they may be interested... and you never know, if the lad reads it he may stop - when he realises how upset she is... hes obviously not 'all there' and may not be realising the effect of his actions.
although you would have to be careful of language, not insulting him and making him angry

the police will likely act then

[shoota]

Get your friend to make a written list of all the incidents to date with the details of who witnessed which event along with contact details.
Send a letter detailing all of your friends fears and concerns along with the list of what has already occurred to the Officer In Charge at your local Police station, mention she is frightened and unhappy that nothing has been done to help her. Written correspondance is given a reference number and an officer is appointed to deal with it and write a report (at least it was in my old force.)
Start a diary of any events which happen from now on including date, time, what happened/was seen etc - the more detail the better.
Try and brief any community bobbies that cover your village personally and get them interested.
Don't hesitate to call Police to each and every occurrence, 999 if necessary, especially if he is on her property.

[IggyB]

I agree with writing to the police but would also follow it up with a letter to my MP if they still declined to investigate.

[paddywak]

I know we're not supposed to do it ourselves but has she got any friends who can "explain" to the boy that this not acceptable behaviour.

[EDDIE51]

I have to agree with what has been said. She needs to make a details note of everything that happens. The police are interested as she found the 1st time when they loaned a camera and sent forensics. however it is correct that they could do nothing she had put the underwear back and tidied up . If anything like this happens again she must not touch it just call the police and leave it exactly as she found it. Do you have community officers in ypur area ? if so ask them for help they can be ore usefull than the police in a situation like this. Remember if anything happens DO NOT TOUCH IT leave it exactly as it was found and call the police.

[Orderlimit]

New Law

Stalking
The Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 created two new offences of stalking by inserting new sections 2A and 4A into the PHA 1997. The two offences are in force from 25 November 2012 and provide further options for prosecutors to consider when selecting charges.

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_harassment/#a03d

[bednobs]

why should the school speak to the lad? Why can't she? Or the girl's dad?

[Orderlimit]

Definition of stalking

Stalking is not legally defined but section 2A (3) of the (PHA 1997) lists a number of examples of behaviours associated with stalking. The list is not an exhaustive one but gives an indication of the types of behaviour that may be displayed in a stalking offence. The listed behaviours are:

(a) following a person,
(b) contacting, or attempting to contact, a person by any means,
(c) publishing any statement or other material relating or purporting to relate to a person, or purporting to originate from a person,
(d) monitoring the use by a person of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication,
(e) loitering in any place (whether public or private),
(f) interfering with any property in the possession of a person,
(g) watching or spying on a person.



*** (PHA 1997 = Protection of Harassment Act 1997)

[joko]

i'd phone them every single night and say you 'think' he is outside trying to get in...you heard noises, and 'voices' etc etc, then when they come hes not there and must have 'gone' ... if you do this enough they will probably get sick of it and speak to him

if they wont take it seriously then you must force them too before he does something serious.


as i say, he sounds like hes not right in the head
but are you sure she has not upset him somehow?
shouted at him for hanging about, given him a look etc?
sometimes it can be something very minor that starts these fixations - remember the billie piper stalker? just a glance was enough.
maybe the daughter has done something to upset him?

some stalkers mean no physical harm, just mental harm and want to punish their victim for some perceived slight, and deliberately do 'weird' things to freak them out.
these ones are usually pretty 'normal' in the head - just very vindictive and spiteful, although because they are motivated by hate and anger they can get dangerous

then there's the ones who are fantasists and who are 'not all there' who have cooked up some relationship in their head.
these can go either way in terms of physical danger - some wouldn't dream of hurting the person - they adore them - but that could turn to hate when they don't get their own way...

i am shocked given the 'weirdness' of his actions that they aren't doing anything

i mean you kind of 'know where you are' with normal teenage yobs, if you get me - they are just messing about and although a pest and a nightmare, they are just 'playing' and mean no real harm ... but it doesn't really sound like hes just having a daft schoolboy joke... hes not doing it for a laugh with his mates - because they'd more likely smash stuff up, then play weird mind games...

[Eve]

I wouldn't report things that haven't happened, it will just look bad if caught out or it's suspected false reports are being made and possibly harm a response to a genuine call.

Maybe if the family is known, especially to the police, it could they they know they system so the police know they would have to have something pretty watertight for anything to stick etc...

[joko]

im not saying invent incidents, im saying call them many times saying youre frightened and worried.

as you say making up stories and incidents is asking for trouble, but being worried that you think he may be outside is not really a lie...

[mackfender]

Could you get a friend to stay the night or at least spend some time with you in the evening.Anther witness to some of his appearances could help.I just don't see why the police are taking no action. A letter to the Chief of police should make them take notice.