What To Do...what Are My Options?

[crazygirly38]

Hi All

I am due to attend mediation as instructed by my ex partner via a solicitor. About 2 months ago my ex partner physically attacked me in full view of our little boy who recently turned 3 years old. He has mentioned voluntarily "daddy hit mummy" he has mentioned this to my parents (his grandparents and also demonstrated actions of what he saw his daddy do to me), he has mentioned this to the social worker and a friend of mine.

Where do i stand as regards to my ex partner seeing our son taking into account that our son seems to be somewhat scarred from this incident in which my ex partner denied to the police when he was arrested.

[ummmm]

Did your ex get charged with anything?

[crazygirly38]

No, he denied the attack as he has always done in the past before our son was born

[ummmm]

I think there is little that you can do then. There is no record and I don't think a 3 year old can really form an opinion. I doubt your son is scarred

What are you afraid of?

[crazygirly38]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, but i honestly think that someone with the knowledge of law under their belt would be better to advise me on this situation.

[waterboatman]

I agree with you. Expert advice is required. Your ex sounds like a real thug. A lying git too.

[crazygirly38]

He is....plus he likes a drink, a little more than usual. When he has seen our son in the past after 10 weeks of not seeing him, he is enthusiastic at first then over the weekends of contact he resorts to alcohol and gambling then leaving our son in the care if his grandma, my ex partners mother. I'm so scared for my little boy when he is the care of his father and his grandma as I have also asked her in the past if David (my ex) has been out that afternoon *example* and this is when he has had our son in his care at the time. His mothers reply to me is "no, David's just tired". This is a total lie from his mother. I really need some sound guidance in relation to this situation as I'm not willing to put my son out as bait for the next thing to happen.

[waterboatman]

I wish I could help you in any way.

He is always going to lie about his treatment of you, it seems his mother will back him up too. Any evidence you have could be vital when it comes to court.

I take it you are seeking a divorce and custody of your son?

[crazygirly38]

I'm not married and our son lives with me full time. David has also withheld maintenance payments towards Blake to which I have issued court proceedings regarding the £856 he owes.

[murraymints]

oh dear..barmaid is the person you need for legal advice proper...if you fear child's safety then meetings can be arranged in third party /supervised locations...not sure if the wishes of such a young child are considered..very nasty situation..best of luck xx

[EDDIE51]

The family court is very keen on 'Fathers Rights' so the father will get visiting times allocated .A father will only be refused access to his child if he has been convicted of a serious criminal offence against a child.
However if there is a potential problem with the father/child relationship as is the case here, the initial access for the father will be 'supervised access'.
Supervised access is where the father has access only at a center run by the local social services called a 'child center'. The father will be able to see the child but under the watch of social service officers. If the officers are convinced after a number of visits that it is safe , then the access will progress to short unsupervised visits.
The mother or other relative has to drop the child off at the center and the father then comes to the center and is allowed to see the child at the center. Centers are like a good play group with lots of toys and activities for the child to enjoy with the visiting parent.

[Peter Pedant]

// but i honestly think that someone with the knowledge of law under their belt would be better to advise me on this situation.//

to be found at the CAB nearest you
also you mention social services are involved and they can advise

surprisingly common situation
and none of us as far as I know specialise in family law
BUT

the principles are governed by the Children Act 1989
and that says the child's interests are paramount

( you will notice - not yours altho of course your views may be taken into account )

so basically when it comes to it
Eddie's post is accurate

( altho perhaps it is not what you want to read )

[EDDIE51]

My post was based on personal experience in my own family.
The father of one of my grandchildren has a conviction for soliciting women for prostitution. He applied for access and had to make do with supervised access for the first 3 months. I would add that the child center was very good and my granddaughter loved going there , as there was so much to do.