Moving Out At 16 (With Certain Circumstances)

[lydia_rees13]

I'm currently 16 and have just left school, I want to move out because my house isn't a pleasant surrounding it's me and my mum, we've never gotten along for long periods of time due to me disagreeing with her attitude and not really wanting to be apart of a family unit, moral of the story is that I'm happier with friends than I am going for a meal or spending time with family. The reason I am so desperate is because 9 months ago an experience happened to us that was traumatic and heavily my fault, we got a family worker to help with the communication issues with me and my mum, reccently another incident to do with sexual assault happened to me, which was in no way my fault apart from the fact I was under the influence of alcohol, I didn't tell her for 3 weeks however it just came out and my life has been tipped upside down, she's taken my right of freedom I had before and I can no longer stay out and I now have a curfew, on top of that we've had numerous arguments and she has blamed me for the incident before and said rash things out of frustration, she is now misinterpreting my actions as wanting to leave so I can hang out with friend 24/7 and drink etc. but does not understand that I haven't been happy at home and she's made me feel worse by saying that all I seem to do is cause her trouble, shes said if I dont want to follow her rules the doors open, so currently ive been offered a place to stay by a friend for a limited time and want to look into moving out because of how incredibly unhappy I am, financial stability is less of a problem for me as my dad won a mil on the lottery, and I was given £50,000 of that, I have £40,000 in a savings account and £3,000 something in my current account, I can't access the savings account at this moment but am unsure whether I would be able to if I moved out. My predicament is if I apply for social services to house me and they make an assessment of my situation, if they talk to my mum she has stated that she will say that she didn't kick me out, would they make me go home instead of housing me? And how severe would they treat the case, as I'd only have a limited time staying at a friends house. My other option is to wait until my 18 year old friend has a full time job and wants to move out, which should be in the next 2 months, would it be possible for me to get a full time job in the holidays? As I'm going to a sixth form college starting in september and will have to work part time, is there any money benefits available to me when I start college? As my only worry is that that money is for the future, and I do want to go to university and travel at some point, I don't want to be eating away into money carelessly.

[bednobs]

i dont thin that just not getting on very well with your mum or dad means that ss will house and provide you with benefits (there are VERY many 16 year olds who dont get along with their parents) you will just have to suck it up im afraid. We all have to do things we dont want to, and yours is going to be to live with your mum for another 2 years.
Alternatively, you could get a boyfriend and/or get pregnant

[bednobs]

"she'd never take me to the doctors "
at 16 you can take yourself to the doctors and the doctor cannot discuss your care with anyone else

[MallyJ]

You may not be at all interested but you sound as if you have a good brain....I was desperate to leave home at 16...circumstances were not particularly good, I decided that the best plan was to spend the next 2 years getting the best exam results I could... so I did and then went away to study and never really went back. I found work every holiday..a lot easier then .... I lived in hall and flats and got a job as soon as I graduated. Sometimes it is sensible to use what we have to get the best start on our futures....please trust me when I say that alcohol / drugs will not help but may well hinder your progress. Good results from the next level exams will help you no end. Good luck whatever you choose to do.

[gness]

Whatever you do, Lydia....don't get pregnant...that's the most stupid bit of advice you'll receive....x

[atalanta]

I'd love to hear the mother's side of this story.

[pastafreak]

Be very careful about what you think you should, can, or need to do. I see many, many 16, 17, 18 and older children who are on their own...whether by choice or need. The independence they want or need is not always what they expect. It's not easy to find either jobs or accomodation..they might find a flat or bedsit, but too often end up sofa surfing, in a hostel or bed and breakfast, or on the street. Genuine friends may help...not so genuine will expect favours in return for protection. It's a slippery slope. If the wrong sort learn of your money, they will become leeches that you'll never be able to shake off. Please think hard before you do anything.

[hammerman]

Hi Lydia. Had the same sort of issues with my step daughter. She ended up going to the Foyer for 2 years and it was the best thing she's ever done. It'll certainly teach you responsibilities and hopefully you'll come out of it a much better person (if indeed you need to be better lol) Step daughter is now married with 3 kids and i love her to bits.
http://foyer.net/about-us/

[HansUrbancka]

@ hammerman.....I hope lydia reads you comments but don't expect any reply because she is now listed as 'User Inactive'.

Hans.