Should I Accept A Police Caution

[Freemanoftheland]

I've recently come out of a relationship where I discovered she had been cheating on me, I've sent a lot of texts, not threatening but calling her and her 'married man' every name under the sun, before I found out I turned up at her house 3 times To try and sort things out and each time she was very pleased to see me and welcoming but then ignored my texts and calls afterwards. She has now called the police and I went to the station where I admitted sending the texts and turning up at her house, they now want to caution me for harassment, I've a clean record and really don't want this on my name, am I bang to rights or do I stand a chance in court ?

[Postdog]

Seriously?

A caution is nothing and between you and the police only. Providing you stop harassing, no one else need know.

[Freemanoftheland]

It actually stays on your record and can be revealed with a dbs check

[hc4361]

Be aware that cautions can show up on standard and enhanced DBS check so I would never be complacent about accepting a caution.

If you refuse to accept the caution you could face stiffer penalties so you should give it a lot of thought.

[johnk]

Sounds like you don't have a chance, take the caution and walk away

[hc4361]

I would probably refuse the caution but only because having it on my record would affect my future employment due to the nature of my job.

There was no harassment when you went to her house - you say she was welcoming. Did she actually tell you to stay away?

How many abusive texts did you send and over how long? If it was over a short period you could rely on the defence that in the circumstances your actions were reasonable - for example, you had been in a long and stable relationship and were hurt and distressed when you found out she had been cheating. Have you contacted her in any way since your arrest?

Are you being honest when you say you didn't send threatening texts nor threaten her in any other way?

I would say refuse the caution if:
You have not contacted her since the arrest
You did not threaten her at all at any time
Your visits were only in the hope of persuading her to resume the relationship
Your texts were over a short time when you discovered the affair

Read these guidelines to help you decide what to do:
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_harassment/#a03a

[Freemanoftheland]

@hc4361 yes I haven't threatened her at all but I have her fella through my texts..I sent a lot maybe 50...yes she was welcoming when I turned up...the whole thing was over a couple of months but I only flipped out for about a week (only) and I haven't contacted her since...last text I sent was apologising and wishing them the best for the future about 2 weeks ago

[hc4361]

We can't make your decision for you - it's a gamble to refuse the caution in the hope that the charges are dropped. The police will try to convince you that a caution is in your best interests but of course it is an easy way for them.

If you can afford it, get legal advice.

[Freemanoftheland]

Ty for your advise :)

[Old_Geezer]

I would echo the thought that you really need a legal eagle to look over the facts and estimate your chance of getting the charge squashed. Only then can you decide whether to take the risk in an effort to clear your name.

[scooping]

You DO have a police record if you accept a caution. Up to you what to do. It is not a minor issue. You will find it a problem for the rest of your life. No working with kids etc, etc.

[dannyk13]

Read this and decide what you should do.
http://www.harassmentlaw.co.uk/law/crimes.htm

[Freemanoftheland]

That's really helpful dannyk13 I will make a decision by tomorrow ty....think I might fight it....morally she is in the wrong...let's just hope the court sees it that way

[mikey4444]

I think you should seek legal advice here....if you can afford it.

Not sure what would happen if you refused to accept a caution though ?

[Baldric]

They go to Court Mikey

[mikey4444]

On what charge ?

If Freeman doesn't think he is guilty of harassment, he should seek legal advice about to admit that he is.

[mikey4444]

Continued....if the CPS think there is enough evidence for a successful prosecution, then they should say so. He shouldn't be bullied into admitting that he is guilty.

[Baldric]

What he was accused of when he was offered a Caution in the first place, that's the deal Caution or Court.

///If Freeman doesn't think he is guilty of harassment, he should seek legal advice about to admit that he is., he should seek legal advice about to admit that he is///

If he doesn't think he is guilty of harassment, why should he seek legal advice about to admit that he is?

[mikey4444]

My English got a bit mangled there.

What I mean to say is if he doesn't think he is guilty, then he shouldn't accept a Police caution. He should still seek legal advice though.

[Freemanoftheland]

I can't afford legal advice I'll be defending myself..this is my logic:
1. Was she caused alarm or distress ?
No way she was in Morocco with him
2. Did you threaten her ?
Never
3. Did you abuse her with insulting words or behaviour ?
I called her lots of names because she had lied and cheated on me in what I deemed a happy stable relationship..of course I was going to be upset.

[Freemanoftheland]

Without going into gritty details on that basis I don't believe I have committed harrassment to the extent of me not being able to pass a dbs check ever again.