Registry Office Marriages

[jourdain2]

Yet another friend is having problems with this. He and his partner of 15 years have decided that they wish to wed. We are to be witnesses at a very private wedding because his family do not approve of his choice ( a lovely lass, but he is quite well-heeled and she isn't).

He and she own a house in our village in E. Yorks.. Her name is on the deeds. He also has a house in Dorset, but spent most of last year living up here (he's a Yorkshireman by birth and wants to marry in Yorkshire). She has a house (rented) in Dorset and works down there most of the time.

He has asked at Bridlington and been told that she has to register in Dorset (doesn't want to because it could affect her tenancy - complex). I say that all she has to do is arrive here and register as a resident, stay here for a few weeks, get married and then they can resume their 'in-between' life. The Registrars are being really stroppy. He is 68 (divorced for 20 years), she is 53 (widowed). Am I right, because they are getting fed-up of the complexities and wondering whether not to bother - but there are things like inheritance tax......

[Jackdaw33]

Unless they have strong objections, why not get married at your local parish church? They don't then have to involve a registrar and Anglican priests are by law allowed to act in that capacity.

[Peter Pedant]

and as anglicans - you dont even have to believe in God !

( Bishop of Durham that was , was widely believed in his diocese, to be an atheist. - when the people of Durham were asked wht they looked for in the successor, "someone who believes in God wd be a good start" was one answer )

[jourdain2]

They are not religious, Jackdaw, but I'll pass it on. Thanks.

[Buenchico]

I'm lost.

My understanding is that, when two people plan on getting married, each of them must 'give notice' at the registry office which is local to their usual place of residence. (It has absolutely nothing to do with house ownership. Someone could own dozens of properties all over the country but live at The Ritz in London. So it would be Westminster Registry office where they would be required to give notice).

The actual wedding venue is also unrelated to where notice has been given by either party. So a bride-to-be living in Suffolk would give notice at Ipswich Registry Office, while her future husband, who lives in Newcastle, would give notice in that city. They could then choose to get married in Ipswich, Newcastle, Birmingham, Exeter or anywhere else, as long as they do so within 12 months of giving notice.

As long as each of the people in your post give notice at the registry office that's local to them, property ownership and/or tenancy agreements simply don't come into it. So what are they worried about?

[Peter Pedant]

then they will fit in just wonderfully - see above

[jourdain2]

She doesn't want to give notice locally, buen., because his family might pick up on it.

[Chinajan]

Is it a condition of her Dorset rental that it's her main residence? And it actually isn't?

[jourdain2]

chinajan Yes it is, and she lives here more of the year than she does up here (he's retired, she isn't). I still don't see why she can't take a month's leave, stay up here and get wed. OH and I got married in UK, although living in France, by renting a holiday cottage for 4 weeks and establishing that as our place of residence. (Registrars knew this.) She actually owns her share of the house here.

[Chinajan]

So there seem to be two issues:

Her: Involves giving notice in Dorset of intention to marry in Yorks. Worried that landlord might find out about main residence.

Him: Giving notice [where?] means his family might find out about intended marriage and he doesn't want that.

Is that right?

[barry1010]

As the registry office only publishes the upcoming wedding notice on the board at the registry office it is highly unlikely her landlord will see or hear about it.

[MallyJ]

They have been together for about 15 years and his family do not approve? Are they worried about their inheritance? I do not understand this....why would he be bothered about what they think after 15 years together? Instead of all this faffing surely they should simply get married where they choose and ignore his family

[THECORBYLOON]

Folk need only have lived at an address for seven days for that to be used to determine their local Registry Office.

Proof of address is required and that is given by one of the following,

"valid UK or Irish driving licence

gas, water or electricity bill from the last 3 months

bank or building society statement from the last month

Council Tax bill from the last 12 months

mortgage statement from the last 12 months

current tenancy agreement

letter from your landlord (dated within the last 7 days) confirming you live there and including your landlord’s name, address and their signature"

[Maydup]

She should give notice in Dorset and not worry about the family. It’s time to make that break and call and end to the dark cloud they live under. She is old enough and wise enough to lead her own life now.

[woofgang]

Not sure what the family can do unless he is gaga. Does he not think they will find out?

[davebro]

Could they go on holiday & get married abroad?

[jourdain2]

Thank you very much, all of you. You have confirmed some ideas I have had and I should see them tomorrow so will pass it all on.Re: his family - he is trying to protect her from any unpleasantness, he doesn't care a fig about their reaction otherwise. The 2 sons probably are worried about inheritance, but he has split his estate very fairly and they have the Dorset house to look forward to plus a handsome sum.

They want to get married up here because it is here that they share a house, he is Yorkshire and she loves it here and when she can retire, she will live here - also they have good friends and his aged auntie, who couldn't travel down South.

They'll get it sorted, and all the info is a big help. I'm looking forward to being a witness. :)

[jourdain2]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I passed it on and - yippee! - the wedding has been fixed for July 6th at Brid.. It was just a very awkward woman there who wouldn't accept the paperwork. They went to another Reg. office and there was no problem.

So, if it all goes wrong - it my and your fault!

Seriously, thanks. I thought I was right about rules and it was great to be able to help.

[barry1010]

Good

[THECORBYLOON]

When do we get the invites?

[Khandro]

First of all, it's a REGISTER office not a registry office :0)