How do I make my partner leave my house?

[annierak]

I have been living with my partner for the past 10 years and it has reached the end.
He is a self opinionated, controlling, verbal, insecure, sad little braindead man who needs someone to look after him and I dont want to be the one to do it anymore.

The house we live in is mine from a previous marriage, but he finances everything. He doesnt want me working as he is paranoid that I will leave him and I have virtually become a prisoner in my own house. as a result, I do not have my own monies to live on. He thinks that me being dependant on him for a wage, means that i will put up with whatever tantrum he cares to throw.

I want him to leave, but he is refusing and giving me more verbal grief. accusing and twisting things to suit him. most of it being wrong.

I just want him out of my life and out of my house.
Does he have any rights as we have been together so long?
Can I just kick him out and change the locks and suffer the repercussions.. while will be many and brutal.

[WendyS]

Well it sounds as if it's long overdue for you to start asserting yourself and going out and getting yourself a job. Why have you let yourself become so downtrodden? You must have some skills which could help you earn a living and become independent so get yourself down to a local recruitment agency and see what's out there, And don't let yourself be browbeaten. If necessary, advertise for a lodger who could bring some income in for you temporarily.
I'm not sure of your legal situation. Perhaps somebody else can advise on this but please be strong, grab back your own life and refuse to let him continue manipulating you. You may possibly find that once you have the strength to stand up to him, and show him you've had enough, he'll back off and you'll then be able to get him to move out. But don't be weak any more. He will just continue to take advantage of you. Bullies only continue to be bullies because nobody will stand up to them.

[Mrs_Pegasus]

Have to be honest, it may well be a tough one and I have been there. In the end I twisted it around to make it his decision and we sold the house. In fact, it might be your only option in the end to sell the house from under him. He may well argue he has a right to some equity from the house but worry about that after, in fact if he moves out in the meantime then take the house of the market!

I would tell him exactly what your plans are. Go and see a solicitor and express your concerns. You could throw his things out into the street and change the locks but I get the feeling you do have some fear of him so I get the impression he can be violent. There is also the fact that you have allowed him to treat you like this and he has financially supported you, therefore, you need to be reasonable with belongings and possibly pay him off some amount.

Keep strong, but get advice.

[PinkFizz]

If I were you I would first go and see a solicitor and tell them everything. Then have the locks changed and a letter from said solicitor sent to his work,or wherever - anywhere you will know that he will get it the day the locks are changed.The call the police before he gets home and explain that you have seen a solicitor,changed the locks and are expecting him to still turn up and cause a massive scene.
The bottom line is that it is YOUR house - not his and he doesn't have a leg to stand on. The most he could do is to take you to court for money for things he may have bought in the property.

Let us know how things are going and if you ever want to chat I am on msn.xx

[email protected]

[bluelady999]

You need to be careful on the changing the locks and throwing his stuff into the street thing.
You have co-habitted with this man for a number of years and as such he has rights over what is considered "matrimonial" property as would you if the position was reversed. (Scots Law) so you need to get yourself to a solicitor and obtain the correct advice before doing anything rash.
Hope it works out for you

[themas]

You say he finances everything. Does that include the mortgage, or are you in the happy position of not having one? If he has been paying it then he has almost certainly built up a beneficial interest in the house and he might even be able to get a caution registered at the Land Registry which could prevent you selling without the matter being resolved. You definitely need to see a solicitor. Not a good idea to change the locks and kick him out without knowing what (if any) rights he has.

You certainly need to start being assertive, get a job (after all, you say you have no money so without one how would you survive if he did go?) and stop being his doormat. All easier said than done, I know, but you must make the effort if you are to succeed in bringing this to a close.