does divorce have to be messy----- advice please

[markarla]

My wife is currently in the process of divorcing me. We have two young boys ( seven and three) who currently live with her. I have been contacted by the csa who have informed me how much I am duty bound to pay, although I intend to give more as its a pitiful amount. What I'm unsure about is what I may have to pay extra. At the moment I am continuing to pay all of the bills for the former matrimonial home in which they all live ( morgage, council tax, utilities you name it) Not sure when the divorce will come through but it started mid november. I never want the boys to need anything but she does not work and seems to be under the impression that a court will make me continue paying for everything and she will get to keep the house.
If anyone has any ideas please help.

[ojread2]

I feel for you, you are one of the good guys. Not many dads leave the matrimonial home and still pay all the bills, it isn't necessary

Anyway, stop paying council tax. She can claim the single persons reduction for a start and if she claims benefits (which I'm sure she does if the CSA are involved) then there will be no council tax to pay for the house if you don't live there

The courts will not expect you to pay for everything, after all you need to pay for where you are living and have enough room for your children to spend weekends inc overnight sleeping. How will you afford that if you are still paying everything on the house you left?

She may well get to 'keep the house'; for now. Once the children leave home/reach 18 you can then force the sale of it and get what you rightly deserve

personally, I would consult a solicitor ASAP and see exactly where you stand. One that specialises in divorce

As for how long it will take? Mine was over in 10 months, some take longer others shorter periods of time. Make sure things are set out as you both wish them to be and what is best for the children - it is far better they keep contact with their father than have oodles of money to spend

Best of luck
ojx

[markarla]

cheers for that.... the info is most helpful

[scoobydooby]

What type of house does your wife live in? My friend is currently going through the same situation but has been informed by her solicitor that she will not be able to keep the house and expect ex- hubby to pay for it. This, apparently, is because she lives in a big 4 bedroom house (currently valued at �315,000) and it's more than she needs for her and her two children. She has the house on the market and is expected to find something smaller (which is fair enough). Once she's moved, ex will only be expected to pay what the CSA says. Like you, he is currently paying all the bills.

[Pippa68]

The CSA have probably calculated a 'pitiful amount' because you are paying the mortgage and bills.

If you stopped paying those there is no doubt in my mind that the assessment will rocket!

[markarla]

Cheers Pippa but the csa is a bit daft and does not take anything else into account. So hopefully I will have still have some money to be able to give her extra money for the kids.

[markarla]

Hi Scooby. The situation is slightly different. There is not much equity in the house she is living in with the kids , so her solicitor has told her the house will more than likely be signed over by the judge to her. But only the deeds, not the morgage, so she will have a choice to take over the morgage, which she won't be able to afford..... or sell it for somewhere smaller.
Cheers
Markarla

[scoobydooby]

According to the CSA website, if your net income is more than �200 per week, you will be paying 20% of your net income to your wife (based on two children of yours living with her). This is reduced if you have other children to support. It's 15% for one child and 25% for three. Again, the figure is reduced if they stay with you regularly. The CSA doesn't appear to be as harsh as it once was, so you should be able to treat the boys to days out/holidays and help with school uniforms etc.

This calculation is (according to the website) for new applicants..........before anyone attacks me because they're paying more!!! lol.

I think you'll be surprised at how well off your wife could be if she got herself a part-time job of 16 hours per week and claimed working tax credits.

Another friend, with two kids of similar ages to yours, works full-time. However, child tax credit pays for ALL of the childcare and she ends up with:-

�1300 through work
�300 from ex hubby
�120 child benefit
�350 working tax credit
�400 child tax credit

Okay, so the �400 goes straight on childcare but the rest is hers. Mortgage is only �500 per month and she's laughing.