Joint custody

[catia]

Hi, my ex doesnt have parental responsabilty (is not on his birth certificate)and wants joint custody,do u think is gonna be easy for him to get?although i know a few things that make him an unfit father i dont know if i can prove it does my word will have any power,well i can say that he once tried to kill himself,he drinks a lot, he is always with different girls even though he is with one right now and just for u to know him better he has never seen our son and he said that even if i proved that he was his son he would never be his father,now he is saying that if he have to pay for him he wants to see him without me there,what he wants is having a 5 month baby with him for 3 nights a week,waht u think it is a long story to tell so im keeping this short.
thanks

[bednobs]

is he the dad? If so, why isnt he on the birth certificate? Trying once to comit suicide dosent make you an unfit parent ad infinitum. Being with different girls dosent make you an unfit parent. Drinking a lot also dosent make you an unfit parent!

[catia]

he is not on the birth certificate because he refused...all this may not make him unfit but can put a 5 month baby in risk

[pink-kittens]

The child in question is only 5 months old?

Hmm, I would say it's unlikely at the moment, if he drinks, that he will be allowed over night access just yet. He would probably be set up with supervised access first

He can be with as many women as he likes as long as he doesn't introduce each and everyone to your son, it doesn't make him a bad dad

Drinking doesn't make him a bad dad but could make him an unsafe one if he drinks when he has his son
Trying to kill himself doesn't make him a bad dad either, but he could be unstable.

If he can prove himself over a period of, say 18 months - 2 years with continuous and steady access I see no reason why he could not be awarded joint custody and bravo for him if he did want joint custody and really means it - so many fathers do not.

If I were you I would just wait and see if he actually goes through with it first by consulting his solicitor after all it oculd be an idle threat

[emlett]

he'd have to apply for parental responsibility as well as residence/contact. I can't see him getting joint residence at all although he might get some contact. If there was an issue that the child was not his, then wouldn't he have to take a paternitytest (not covered by legal aid last time i heard) but then if this was in dispute, you might not get any maintenance off him in the future if you wanted to apply for it.
i think that 3 entire nights a week is too much for such a young child - if you are still breastfeeding then that would also be an issue.
if you worried about him being able to look after the child by himself but agree for contact, maybe you shoudl start it off in a contact centre with supervised contact for a couple of hours every week until you are happy that the child is old enough or that he is able to look after him adequately and then move on to contact at his parents home maybe? that way his family will be there to assist him if necessary.

[Thunderchild]

could be time to give the guy a chance I mean after all whats in it for him if he don't really care about the child he wouldn't bother, like others suggested gradual introduction is a good idea at such a young age he probably can't get a lot. as it means a lot of work on his part just let him go through with it and take it from there