Moving out at 16

[Lisa101]

Hi, im living at home and im nearly 16 i want to move out asap wen i turn 16 and i would like to live with my boyfriend but the only problem is that my parents do not like him at all because of the age gap which is 5 yrs! I would like to go 2 college and if i move out it would be so much easyer to travell there. Me and my parents have so many problems at home and we always argue. But do i need parents permission to move out? Or if i did move out would i be able to stay were i was or move back in with parents?
Thanks 4 listening x

[Ethel]

You don't need your parents' permission but who is going to support you financially through college?

Does your boyfriend earn enough? Are you able to look after yourself and your home - shop, cook, clean, launder, pay bills and so on?

Think very carefully - you are far too young to be taking on this sort of responsibility when you should be enjoying yourself and learning to stand on your own two feet.

What are you arguing about with your parents? Is there anything you can do to ease the tensions?

[coffeelover]

My daughter moved out when she was 16 to live with her partner, when she had a baby. I didn't want her to go.

They managed with a LOT of help from the council, both sets of parents, and other relatives, and it was still a real struggle to manage financially. because so many of the things that you take for granted, like heating and hot water, laundry & the phone are paid for at home. Also things that they hadn't thought about like council tax and water rates.

They also had a lot of help with people giving them items for the flat, and helping to get it decorated etc.

It isn't cheap going to college - you will have fares, books, possibly equipment to buy. You will need clothes etc and to feed yourself properly. You will find it difficult to work if you are at college all day, and then studying in some of your free time.

I would urge you to really think long and hard about this - it sounds very glamorous to be living with a boyfriend, but it isn't all hearts and roses once the novelty of being away from home has passed.

You won't thank me for saying it, but 16 is really very young, much younger than you think. Girls do argue with their mothers a lot at your age - I know I did, and most of my friends did. You're just beginning to find your feet as a young adult, and clashes are inevitable.

I know my daughter had a baby, so the circumstances are not the same, but she has admitted that she found it a lot harder than she ever expected it to be.

[B00]

My daughter's 19 and only moved out last year to live with her boyfriend.

She's since discovered that food doesn't magically appear on the dining table, washing doesn't wash itself, nor does it dry and iron all by itself and money sadly, has to be earned and is long gone on rent, heating and general bills before she's even seen it.

Whilst living at home, she had money to spend as she liked- clothes, booze make up etc- now she's lucky if she can afford a loaf of bread at the end of the week.

What i'm trying to say is that I agree with the above posters, think long and hard before you move out of your parents home and in with your parents. The novelty of being "loved up" and doing what you want soon disappears when you have to go to bed early every night as you can't afford heating!

[Ethel]

You'll soon get fed up of being left behind whilst your man friend goes to the pub with his mates - you being too young to join them.

[B00]

lol, yes- didn't think of that one Ethel- and of course I meant move in with your boyfriend.

Also- what happens when it all goes pear shaped Lisa? And sadly, statistically- it will.

[emilyjane22]

Dear Lisa101,

I am researching a documentary for the BBC, that will look into young people, and their journey in creating lives of their own, away from home.
If you are interested in speaking with me, or someone from the research team, about your situation in confidence, please ring me, Emily, or Lizi on 0117 925 8589. Please visit the website for more details about Testimony Films- www.testimonyfilms.com.
If anyone else reading this is going through a similar situation please get in touch, and read below for more details.
Young, Married or Divorced

Are you a 16 � 23 woman and living with your partner, boyfriend or husband?

I�m making a BBC documentary looking at teens and young twentysomethings who can talk about the challenges of living independently � juggling jobs, house chores and your relationship. I�m interested to hear about what its like to move out or get married at a young age, when it works, when it doesn't and I'd be really keen to hear from anyone who is going through/has gone through a divorce but who's under 30 and can speak about their experience of getting married at a young age.

This will be a sensitive programme looking at young independent women in relationships and we're keen to hear your experiences. If this sounds like you or someone you know then please contact Lizi in confidence on [email protected] or phone [phone]
Many thanks x