Guilty or not? Long story!

[Deako]

I ended a relationship in December whilst on holiday with my girlfriend of 5 months and her son ,and decided to come home early as the situation became untenable. My girlfriend has a history of depression and is bi polar, and since my return I have endured 3 months of insulting texts from an unknown source, although I recently found out this was my ex and a friend as suspected. My ex denied knowledge of these and refused to put a stop to them although she knew they were causing me great stress.I made the mistake of replying to tsome of hese in similar insulting fashion.We have met a few times on nights out where I have either been insulted or she cries and says she loves me, either way I go home early to avoid issues.Last week I had oil poured over my car whilst parked in a public place and on my return home I discovered my house had received the same treatment. My ex had left a note saying this was her doing. She refused to clean this but I was reluctant to report it as I wanted an end to this saga. A couple of days later my ex and her friend approached me in the supermarket, and stood in front of my trolley. I gave my ex a couple of slight nudges to move her, and we argued about the oiled car and house. I eventually grabbed her and told her to leave me alone and end this ( a few obscenities were used) and I carried on shopping. When I left the shop, I saw she'd parked next to me with her young son still in the car , so I know she only came in for a confrontation. I was arrested at work 3 days later accused of strangulation and ramming a trolley into her legs 4 or 5 times. There were no injuries.She now says she's too frightend to leave her house.I have never been violent and have no previous. My brief said I should get a caution at worst but I was charged with common assault. How should I plead? What punishment should I expect ? My job is now under threat. I really don't want any criminal convictions as this will affect my future travel plans.

[PatriciaH]

Surely the 1st thing you need to do is go to the supermarket where all this happened and get the cctv recording ?

[Buenchico]

Plea: Guilty
Irrespective of the amount of provocation (and your former girlfriends exaggerations) , your description of events confirms that you've committed common assault.

Likely sentence: Conditional discharge (or possibly a fairly small fine)

Effect on job: Probably nil if you speak to your boss before the court case, explain the circumstances, and tell him/her how concerned you are about the possible impact on your employment. See here:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Jobs-and-Educat ion/Question538502.html

Effect on travel plans: Probably nil if you only intend to travel as a tourist. Very few countries have rules which might bar UK passport holders, with criminal convictions, from entering for the purpose of tourism. The USA would, according to the rules on their embassy's website, require you to apply for a visa but common assault is not a crime of 'moral turpitude' so you'd probably be granted one. (In practice, most people simply 'forget' about their convictions and enter under the Visa Waiver Program. The USA have no direct access to UK criminal records, so their immigration service wouldn't know about the assault). Canada would technically require you to wait until you were 'rehabilitated' but they don't carry out any checks. Similarly, Australia doesn't carry out any checks if you enter with an Electronic Travel Authority.

Chris

[Buenchico]

Further to PatriciaH's post:

You have the legal right to obtain a copy of any video recording made of yourself by an organisation registered under the terms of the Data Protection Act. Ask the manager of the store for the address of their data controller. You might be required to pay a fee but the maximum permitted charge is only �10.

Chris

[Ice.Maiden]

Sorry - I can't understand why you didn't report her first for wilful damage to your car and house, or at least threaten to report her for harrassment - but what with both of you sending insulting texts to each other, it all sounds very childish.
See if the supermarket'll have things on CCTV, as Patricia suggested, and, if you're sure that you didn't react violently, then plead NOT guilty - and let a court decide, once they've heard the evidence. I think you need a good solicitor though, as pushing the woman, DOES constitute assault. Hope it works out, but it's a lesson to be learnt.

[Deako]

Thanks all, definate lessons to be learnt.. There is no cctv evidence inside the supermarket so this doesn't help. Not sure why, it was in the last aisle where the crisps and low value things were kept. There is cctv of the almost empty car park where she parked next to me.
I did threaten to report her but was reluctant to as although there is no chance of reconcile I do still care and would hate for her son to suffer as a result. As I stated, she is bi polar with huge mood swings which is very difficult to understand and live with. Quite often she would self harm which is even more difficult to understand, although I did my best. Agree, insult texts were very childish and regretable. It sounds like a guilty plea would be my best option although I really don't believe I deserve all this. Could I not have just been given a caution by the police and not be charged?

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Deako. I feel really sorry for you. If she has Bi-Polar however, does she not receive treatment for this and if so, is it not working ?

Buenchico is right. This must be a very worrying time for you however.

If you dont want to report her for the damage to your car and house, why dont you send her a Solicitors letter asking her to keep well away for you or you will apply for an injunction. This way, at least if she tries to get you into trouble again, you will have a copy of the letter to show to the Police.

I am not an expert, just trying to be practical and sympathetic with you.

Take Care.

Katie. x

[Abdulmajid]

Whilst avoid any possible "witness intimidation", can you not put the feelers out stressing you have made a mistake and wish to get back with your ex?

If she falls for it.

Set up a dictaphone and record any admissions of her guilt or wasting police time etc.

Lull her in to a sense of false security, the case will be dropped, she will be prosecuted for lying on a statement and everybody's happy.

Chris advice is spot on above.

However, I would NEVER plead guilty to something I haven't done.

ALL crimes have to be proved beyond all reasonable doubt.

Her friends testimony is hardly independent, there is no CCTV, no medical records, no independent witnesses, you can prove your previous good nature, maybe obtain testimony that you have been a victim of crime that you suspect was her (though go careful about accusing somebody in court), you will not be able to obtain her mental health records, but there is no reason why this can not be mentioned.

Therefore can this be proved beyond all reasonable doubt?

I would put my neck out and say a resounding NO!!!!.

[Deako]

Thanks again for the sympathy and responses.
My court case is on Tuesday, I've been advised to plead guilty to common assault as I did make the mistake of grabbing her. My solicitor is hoping the case will be referred back to the police for a caution.
Thanks Katie, she does take medication for Bi polar but has lowered the dose more recently so this may be why her moods became changable.I will ask my solicitor to draft a letter as you've suggested as this does sound practical and not too offensive.
Thanks Abdulmajid, Its a great theory, any contact....direct or indirect will break my bail conditions so I wouldn't attempt any sort of contact....even through the grape vine. Bi polar is a complex mental condition that I've tried to understand and be patient with, it wouldn't be fair to or ethical to mess with her mind and pretend to want to get back with her. Despite recent events I really wish her no harm and want us both to move on, if you ever witness self harm first hand you'd understand why.