Take my son to live in different country

[dawniechaz]

I am thinking about moving out to australia. Can my ex- husband stop me taking my 12 year old son?

[bednobs]

I hope the answer is yes, but i dont know.
how would you expect them to have a relationship if that happened. What if your ex said he was taking your son to australia and leaving you behind?
does the dad see the son now?

[dawniechaz]

It is not to takehim away from his dad who is now re married and has another child. it is for us to start a new life with my new parter who livesin Australia. I would pay for him to come home to see his father and wit h the internet he world is such a smaller place. I understand what you are saying but it is also time for us to be happy again

[KRUSTYMAN]

As 'bedknobs' asked - how would you feel if the boot was on the other foot? Gutted I expect and I should assume your ex will feel the same!! We're all allowed second chances but what about your child why mess up his life simply because you and your ex had problems, I should imagine he suffers already by your divorce let alone increasing the distance between him and his father.

[bednobs]

without this sounding too much like a love in between me and krustyman, i agree with him - just because the dad has a new family dosent mean he'll just want to abandon his old one. Seeing your dad by internet is hardly satisfactory. You say it's time for you to be happy now, but does your son want to go to australia? can your partner come here so that your son still has a relationship with his dad? clearly i dont know what your family situation is like, and you may well feel you deserve a new start but dont forget, you chose to have a child by this other man, and that means you have to do everything possible to mean that they have a relationship, in fact you have to work harder at it seeing as you are the custodial parent..
again, what if your exes partner ha been in, say, thailand, and he wanted to take your son there to live? Would him saying "well you can communicate by internet" been good enough for you?

[DungeonJayne]

dawniechaz, everyone's being too nice to you here.

You ... are ... a ... heartless ... bitch.

[obNOXious]

My kids now live in Germany with my ex and her new man, to be sure there are issues there, but I have to say that the same issues would have applied if she had been resident in England and married to an Englishman and not a German.
I appreciate that Germany is a lot closer than Australia, but as you have said it's still possible to foster a good relationship between the child and it's father despite distance, and of course if the boot was on the other foot and the ex moved away people would think little of it.
Your kids being in a different country does make it hard, but reading between the lines from my own children they seem very happy, soemwhat to my detriment, but a lot of that is my own fault, so I think that if you try your hardest to encourage your son to be involved with his Dad and to maintain regular contact then hopefully nothing ill should prevail for him. Have you spoken to your child about this and asked how he feels, that for me would be a very big indictator of how to proceeed.

[KRUSTYMAN]

My wife said I'n not allowed to have a love in with anyone else anyway - sorry bednobs I know the thought was there ;o)

[bednobs]

shame

[Jillius]

dawniechaz, I can understand what people are saying but I feel sorry that you are in this predicament because you too deserve a life to do what you want.
Is your ex a hands on dad who sees his son regularly?
My ex husband wouldn't notice if my kids vanished off the planet.
What does your son think about it? If you are able to pay for him to fly over to see his dad regularly then I don't think it's such a problem.
Have you actually spoken to your ex about it ?

[Buenchico]

There seem to be plenty of opinions on this thread but no actual answer to your question. Perhaps this will help:

Under the Child Abduction Act 1984, it's a criminal offence for you to take your son out of the country without his father's permission.

The only exception is if you have a residence order in respect of your son. In which case, you can take him out of the country for up to one month at a time without permission. To take him out of the country for any longer, whether for an extended holiday or to emigrate, you must have permission:
http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/apply-child-rul es-parental-responsibility-rules.asp

Chris

PS: Unless you've got close family members already in Australia, or you've got professional qualifications (at degree level) in an area of employment where there is a current shortage of employees, it's almost impossible to emigrate to Oz:
http://www.immi.gov.au/migrants/index.htm

[dawniechaz]

Well thank you all for your comments. Think i have been judged already and am really not a heartlessbitch. I have taken my son miles so that he could be with isdad for miles.. its always us that calls him. He was going to live abroad untill his wife fell pregnant and wanted me to fly our son out during holidays. I have done everything i could over the past 4 years to keep my son close to his dad. And chris thankyou for the answer tomy question my question.

[KRUSTYMAN]

I'm sorry - I have neither judged you nor called you a heartless bitch and hope that I never would. I merely pointed out how you might feel if the boot was on the other foot and how the break up of his parents will have already had a negative effect on your son and emigrating will probably make that worse. You asked a question, I gave my view and I'm sorry if it was not the answer you wanted to hear. This is called 'theanswerbank' not 'theansweryouwanttohearbank'!

[ThunderChuckles]

My ex wife has just informed me that she wants to emigrate to Cyprus with her new husband and take my 11 year old girl with them. She asked me what i thought about it. I was shocked and hoped to wake up and find it was all a bad dream. Then the tears started and i managed to tell her that she should try to put herself in my position. My daughter has lived with my ex since she was two, i just about survived that as i decided to live for my daughter. I have never missed a maintenance requirement, i have my daughter every saturday and alternate fridays. The highlight of my week is cuddles with my daughter while we watch TV together. That gets me through the week until the next weekend. My ex stated that "it will be a better life for her in Cyprus" I think she means my daughter but i know she is really thinking of herself. I have cried all day, my daughter IS my life. The sad thing is i will probably agree to it because my daughter should be given the chance to experience the benefits that growing up in another country. That is the selfless decision, so why can't i stop crying?