d i y divorce

[olddutch]

Does anyone know - preferably from actual experience - what the pros and cons are to conducting a divorce, including the financial settlement, without solicitors ? There are no dependant children involved but there is a shared jointly owned house with a small mortgage remaining. Can anyone cast any reliable light , please ?

[themas]

Not from personal experience. But it depends very much on how well you & your spouse are able to talk and agree matters on a rational basis; also how much knowledge you have of what is possible.

The main issues are going to be the division of the house & division of any private or occupational pensions. Also what happens to any other assets or liabilities (e.g. debts - if any).

If it is at all contentious, you may find using a solicitor results in you ending up with a better financial settlement, but in my view it is always best to settle these matters amicably if at all possible.

[Barmaid]

I did my own divorce several years ago. I downloaded the forms from the Court Service website www.courtservice.gov.uk. We filled in all the forms together (it was uncontested) and submitted them to the Court. In terms of the house, we had two valuations and then chose the average of the two - I bought my ex out at that valuation. We simply asked a solicitor to deal with the transfer of equity (which they did as part of my remortgage). Everything else we agreed between us. My attitude was "we can do this the nice way and share out what we have between us or we can do this the nasty way and share out what we have between the lawyers". In all the total court and transfer of equity fees were about �300 and we paid half each (my sister did it the nasty way and it cost her �10k!!!).

I did actually visit a solicitor before we decided to do it ourselves and she was just attempting to enflame the situation. having spent years dealing with solicitors I was absolutely furious that she was not listening to me and instead ranting on about pensions and injunctions despite the fact my instructions were clear as day on these issues.

[themas]

What Barmaid says about solicitors is very interesting, and similar to the experience friends and other people have told me of. It is easy to get enmeshed and end up far more bitter and estranged from the ex than before the divorce process started.

If you do find it difficult to agree you might be able to use a mediation service - this should operate as an attempt to find common ground, rather than adopting an aggressive and confrontational approach.

[sara3]

I did my divorce myself, but I have to say that is was only "do-able" because we'd already agreed everything. the local family court sent me a pack with all the forms and leaflets and it was very straightforward. I don't think I'd have tried it if there were major issues involved.

[DungeonJayne]

Hey sara. How did your afternoon go?

[sara3]

oh Jayne, I should have stayed on the train through to Brighton!

no one told me the case was due to be adjourned by earlier agreement, so I trekked over there for nothing! I will be having a word with our prosecution division tomorrow. 3 hours travelling time, there and back, and a wicked blister on the sole of my foot. that's what you get for wearing unsuitable shoes for walking!

how was your day?

[DungeonJayne]

Well, better than yours from the sound of it.

Just worked away until wine o'clock, cooked some fish on the barbecue, and now I'm chilling out with what's left of my bottle of wine.

Shame you didn't stay on the train ;-)

[sara3]

I wish I had now :o)

I got home, my daughter had 3 of her friends here and I cooked for all of them, plus my son.

tomorrow I'm going to the office for a rest!