access to child

[debT]

my ex has asked me to give up parental rights to my daughter as she has remarried and lives abroad. I have told her no and I never will. She now says she will never come home for visits so I cannot see my daughter. She is only 4. Is she allowed to do this and what can I do. I pay regular maintenance.

[debT]

she has gone to Dubai.

[bednobs]

grr what a cow.

why did you let her go abroad in the first place?

and also, your daughter still needs to eat, and be clothed whether or nt you see her

[sara3]

that's outrageous, I'm sorry.

make sure you keep in contact with your daughter. will she have a webcam? none of this is her fault, and she needs to know you're doing your best for her.

[Postdog]

I agree it's wrong, but I have to take issue with bedknobs about still needing to eat, etc. Yes of course she does, but come on, Dubai !! - if you ex can afford to live out there, then would hazard a guess that she is not short of a UAE dirham or 2.

I agree with the suggestion that you put money aside for her, and when she is old enough to uderstand, let her know this and that it was her mum who made the rules, not you.

[Buenchico]

If your ex has taken your daughter out of the country without your permission, she's committed a criminal offence:
http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/apply-child-rul es-parental-responsibility-rules.asp

However, it's difficult to see exactly what you can do about it. The Foreign & Commonwealth Office can offer limited support:
http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/travelling-and-living -overseas/things-go-wrong/child-abduction

There's plenty of information available by following the links on the Official Solicitor's website:
http://www.officialsolicitor.gov.uk/os/icacu.h tm

You can also seek support and advice from this charity:
http://www.reunite.org/

Chris

[kassiopeia]

She should not have taken your child without your consent. That is what parental rights is all about! You have the right to say where your child is brought up, what school etc...

I disagree with the issue that was brought up with regards to her new husband being able to afford to pay for the child. Maybe he can, but she is your child not his and paying into a fund for when she is older could be misconstrued.

I know from experience that it can be a form of revenge because of the ex being resentful of giving money to the ex partner. I'm not saying that this is the case here but it seems she is not playing ball and could use this as a weapon.

Keep trying and don't fall into any traps.

[bednobs]

it is definately a trap not to pay maintenance for YOUR child - if it ever came to a court situation, what light would it put you in that you arent even paying for your daughter to eat? Putting money in an account is all very well but 1)how can you prove its for her 2) children dont understand "later" very well, and if the mum is vindictive she may well tell your daughter you are not even paying for her. if you want the step dad to pay to bring her up, then let him adopt her!

[spook]

is your name down on the birth certificate, as being the natural father. this does not reflect any doubt that you are the natural father, but i made the mistake of not putting down my name on my daughters birth certifcate at the request of my then partner. we split but kept it as amicable as possible.

i know children who have been made a ward of court, that it is illeagal to take out of the country. i'm not quite sure about children from divorced or separated households. you best seek expert advice on that. when i split with mine, she want to take my daughter to australia, and told me i did not have a leg to stand legally as i was not listed as being the father on the birth cert. but i don,t think that would make any difference now with having to go through dna tests nowadays.

be wary, but if your ex partner wants to take things further she might go through solictors to have her new partner formerly adopt your daughter. i don't want to put a downer on this subject but it is something she might consider if pointed that way. but legally to do that, you have to be sent the legal documentation to sign away your rights to your daughter. i know you will never do that and i don't want too be all doom and gloom but i rather you be forwarned to be forarmed as this was my biggest dread for my daughter and future contact.

as it stands your ex has no legal right to shut you out of your daughters life just out of what would seem spite.

how old is your daughter? is she past the toddler stage or younger.

have you had quite a bit contact before the split

i send you my heart felt best wishs and i hope you can each an amicable settlement between yourself and yor ex.


hang in there mate