HELP:::Neighbour driving me round the bend!

[Nosha123]

V long story so will give you the short one to start with. Building a new house - with a basement. Have a PARTY WALL agreement with the neighbours (V.elderly) stating we are liable to repair any damage caused to their house during the works. We all signed it. Some cracks have appeared and we fully accept they werent there before and we have to make good. We have said as soon as the basement is finished and site is ground level again we will repair. Problem is as they are v.elderly they seem to keep forgetting what the surveyor tells them and are convinced their house is about to collapse. With them in it. He says the stress is killing him (he dont look well!) but they dont seem to listen to the professional reassuring them and call him up EVERY week. They want the council involved (council weren't interested) they want lawyers involved (who will say the PW agreement is legal and protects them). They are driving us all mad. What more can I do to reassure these senile old people their house is not gonna collapse! HELP

[Eve]

Can you get something in writing for them from the surveyor?

Seeing it written down might help.

[Nosha123]

Yes we are going to do that next.. along with a letter from us to convince them we are not about to do a runner on them.... and that they are a priority for us. They even asked me for a solicitors letter - which we agreed to - and basically said that the PW agreement in place is legally binding and yes we have to put the work right! The neighbours are blaming us for a drop in the value of their house and are convinced the repairs will take 6 months and they will have to move out. They just dont seem to listen.. or remember... I do feel for them as they are very upset about it all - but I am losing my patience and sympathy when everything we do or say is a lost cause!
If they got lawyers involved surely they would just refer them to the PWA... We are not denying anything but they are now saying "oh what if it snows and they stop building for 2 months".. it will take even longer....
AND WHAT??? Who's business is it if we do?? They dont seem to appreciate we have not broken any laws or done anything we werent sposed to!

[R1Geezer]

just humour them, go and paint over the cracks and give a general impresssion it is being fixed. Then fix it properly later on. Old people worry when they see innaction, even though you have promised to fix it later, they need to see somthing being done, so just humour them.

[cassa333]

Every week go and knock on their door for a chat. This is one way that they will see you in action and perhaps have a little faith that you are going to stick around and do the work needed.

Are they senile and have they realy forgotton what was said or are you just annoyed at their continued badgering? If they are senile get the social services or a family member involved. If not then to a curtain extent you do have to accept that they have lagitimate concerns of you doing a runner. They probably look to the news to see that building is basicly down the pan at the moment.

By the way them moaning that you may stop work because of snow or whatever is a sound argument from their point of view.... You did say you would fix their house when yours is further up so a delay in building is a delay in the fix.

Do you intend to live in the house or is it for resale? If to live in I would at the very least try to put up with the moaning and get their bit done asap. Why not give them a ball park deadline when the bottom of the house is going to be done. I know that with building work it can be up in the air but if you say about 6 weeks and as I said earlier take the time to visit once a week to let them know what is going on they may be put at ease a little more. Why not give then a mini guided tour each time they can then see progress.

I know that as you say you have the law on your side but it doesn't take much to make everyones lives easier and happier.

[Nosha123]

Thanks Cassa.. we are visiting them weekly and so is the surveyor.. to try to calm them. We are not intending to do a runner and have lived there already for 3 years and intend to stay there after - which they know. We have also told them when roughly the work will be out of the ground and when the repairs will be done by - so they know that too. We have also offered to pay to fly them to Nice in France, so they can stay with family while the 5 or 6 days of repairs are done - so I am being as understanding as I possibly can and I am doing everything I possibly can yet it isn't good enough - which is why I am starting to lose my rag a little... We dont have to fly them to france and we dont have to hurry to get their repairs done at all - in fact we have spent thousands of pounds more than necessary just to get men on site and hurry things along to shut them up. They keep making up stories about us apaprently wanting to have a building site to store materials and that we have devalued their property by �100,000 none of which are true and I cant help but think we are dealing with a miserable old moany man who has nothing better to do than cause misery

[cassa333]

I understand it can be frustrating in these situations but if you intend to live there then I'm afraid you'll just have to put up with it or fall out big time and live next door to people you don't like.

Give them all the reasurance you can but after that, as you say there is nothing more you can do.

By the way I hope the flights are the �10 cheepies from Ryanair.

Just make sure the work on their house is finished to a high standard or you'll never hear the end of it lol

[Nosha123]

Ha ha.. yeah!

I am kinda waiting to see what happens after the repairs are all done - and what he finds to moan about next....
They didn't like us when we moved in as we had 2 cats.. and they hate cats. She even joked about setting up some kind of cat trap or deterrents which I obviously found hilarious! NOT
Lets see what they moan about next...! Hope I dont get like that when I'm old!

[Twenty20]

So.....youre having a lot of building work done which involves going right up to their property and it's already caused cracks in their walls and yet your losing patience with them? I'm not surprised theyre upset!

Perhaps theyre not senile at all....maybe theyre just concerned about you damaging their house? I doubt if you'd be too pleased if they were doing something that damaged your property would you? You weren't even too pleased about their comments about your cats, goodness knows what you'd think if they did something which made cracks appear in your house walls!!

Sorry but I'm failing to understand why your having a go at them (calling them senile old people etc) because theyre simply worried about their property.

[buildersmate]

No. he's not losing his patience with their attitude to him potentially damaging their walls.
He's losing his patience with their ability to accept that the Party Wall Act provides them with legal protection in the event that does happen, and that it will get repaired, all at his expense. No one deliberately sets out to damage another's house when they know they will have to pay for repairs.

[Nosha123]

Thanks Buildersmate... We had no idea the damage would occur.. and when you are building.. you dont really know what the ground is going to be like until you dig it. Despite having a soil survey done too. We dug in other areas and ground was fine.. we dug near their house and it was awful. Thats the way it goes.
We did the PWA to protect us ALL. and we have no issues with the fact we caused the damage. My issue is that despite all the professionals telling them their house is fine and will not fall down.. they listen and then 3 days later start panicking again. Its very hard to calm someone down when they dont actually listen to what you have to say. Their house cannot possibly collapse now.. its not physically possible... we have explained.. and they seem to understand and then leave only to panic again... so its incredibly frustrating.
I totally sympathise with their worries.. anyone would.. but I dont know what more I can do right now if they dont start listening to us all!
They hated us from the start as we had 2 cats. They also moaned when we built a summerhouse at the end of the garden completely out of their view (and they referred to it as a monstrosity). they moaned to me about other people moving in to the area that had young kids.. (they dont like kids either!!!) - so perhaps that explains more the kind of people we are dealing with.
We are as understanding as we can be - but I cant help but think he is out to cause us trouble as some way of getting his own back for the damage we have caused to his house