Children

[shebabe44]

I have two children, aged 11 and 14, trying to get visitation rights but solicitor said it is hard because of their age any suggestions, I have no court order or have done nothing wrong.

[pink-kittens]

When did you last see them?
Why don't you see them now?

[bednobs]

tbh i would imagine you solicitor is probably right - at 11 and 14 the kids will know if they want to see you or not, nd if they dont, what is the point in getting a court order to force them?

[shebabe44]

Have not seen them for 2 years due to their dad poisoning them against me as i walked out due to being afraid of their dad and had not any strength to fight for them then. Feel so much stronger now and i regret not taking them with me.

[shebabe44]

I love them and cant cope with out them.

[bednobs]

but as i said, how on earth will it help your relationship if they are forced by a court to see you?
perhaps they havent been poisoned as such by their dad but have drawn their own conclusions about being abandoned by their mum and left with someone even she was afraid of?

[bednobs]

i know that seemed really judgemental, but you cant just put down and pick up children without them having some thoughts on the matter. if you are paying for proper legal advice you are not happy with, try another solicitor, or believe what they tell you rather than what some rando stranger like me is telling you wthout knowing the full facts

[pink-kittens]

Im sorry, but if you were scared of him, then why have you left them with him? Why were you scared?
I fail to see why, scared of your ex or not, you have not seen them for 2 years
As bedknobs has said, you cannot just pick up after 2 years of not seeing them
If you love them so much you can't cope without them imagine how they must have felt when you walked out and left them with a father their own mother was scared of!

What you can do is start to send them letters. Call them on the 'phone even if they refuse to speak too you, call them. Have you been sending BD and Xmas cards/presents?

Even if they choose not to see you at the moment there will come a time when they will want some answers as to why you left - take the responsibility for it; you chose to leave without them and for that you must say sorry.

[zebra]

Hope you get it sorted, but I agree with most of the others. I was scared of my ex.....I plucked up my courage and did one 6 years ago. He wouldn't have harmed our daughter, but there is no way on earth I would have left without her.

You may have to just sit this one out and wait for them to come to you.