can I move abroad with my son?

[falrep]

I have a 5 year old son with my husband from whom I have been seperated 3 years. We seperated as he cheated and got her preganant, the went on to keep the child and now have another. I moved obviously but stayed fairly local for the sake of my son seeing his dad. However I would desperately like to move to cyprus, I have found a enlish curriculam school and feel that my son would have a better standard of life. Am I able to move and start a new life or do I have to stay in the UK even though my ex deceided to walk away from his wife and child? It seems a bit unfair I am constricted because of him!

[kat2206]

Unfortunately as you were married and he is your sons father, you do need his permission to be able to move with your child abroad. I had this same issue when I moved abroad with the forces with my son, I still had to get permission off his father even though he hadn't seen his son in years!!! Sorry...

[falrep]

well there is no way on earth he will agree, he wouldnt even consider the positive aspects of the move and way of life for our son. I would be willing to pay for the flights and bring our son back to the uk every school holidays etc so is there anything I can do if he wont give permission?

[ummmm]

Does he see his son?

[kat2206]

I dont know.. I dont think so, the law sees the father in a different light now, that they have rights to be able to see their child regularly etc...

[falrep]

he sees him every other weekend, I dont want to stop their contact, I would be willing for him to have him every school holiday and I would pay the cost of flights etc

[kat2206]

Speak to your sons father and see what he says, if you put it across that he will see him during the school holidays etc he may be more amenable to the move? You could both go to some kind of counselling sessions to discuss all the details if you cant talk together without arguing etc??

[ummmm]

Cost of the flights...you'd have to travel with him.

Anyway....It's very unlikely that you would be given permission to take your son out of the country except for a holiday.

[falrep]

Ive just worked it out and he has him approximately 65-70 days a year, so if he had him in the half terms and for a month in the summer holidays it would add up to exactly the same!

[falrep]

I appreciate I would have to travel with him, I have family here in the UK as does my partner so we would be more than willing to bring my son back to see his dad and us visit our family and friends etc. It would not be a problem to cover the cost of flights and I would also not receice csa so my ex would be financially better off, there is no point talking to him, I can tell you 100% that he would not even entertain the idea on a purely selfish basis. Can I not get permission via a court? If I was to move to the other end of the UK he could not stop me and would hardly ever get to see my son so I fail to see why I cant live where we want to. The plan when we were together was to move abroad.

[ummmm]

It's not the point. Children need consistency. The law recognised this and that's why every father whose child was born after 2003 has automatic parental responsibility.

[hc4361]

Not the same though, is it? Your son would have a life his father knows nothing about - friends, school, neighbours, activities, the whole lifestyle.
Seeing your child every weekend maintains regular contact, but every few weeks is very different.

[237SJ]

Falrep, you wouldn`t have to travel with your son. He can travel unaccompanied if there`s someone to collect him at the other end

[ummmm]

237SJ...not true. You now have to 12 to travel unaccompanied.

[piggynose]

22:43 on Sun 04/Jul/10 http://cgi.ebay.co.uk...0&hash=item1c132589f6

this is from Body and Soul, titled guaranteed ways of splitting up from your partner

its just an idea

[falrep]

my son has a life he knows nothing about now! We live an hour away and he has never been to his school, met his friends, attended his christmas play etc. They would be able to talk on telelphone etc and see eachother every few weeks for more substantial periods rather than his dad being at work most of the time as he works weekends! The law should also recognise that I gave up my job and lifestyle to be with my ex and have our child, he made a commitment to me and our son and he broke it for no good reason, he is able to live his life the way he wishes but I have to live mine to fit in with him???

[falrep]

I didnt know the age limit was now 12 but I wouldnt leave him to travel unaccompanied anyway, Id take him and visit my friends and family. I dont want to cut my son off from everyone he knows here but I honestly believe I could give him a better life and education there, the class sizes at the international school are 15 as opposed to the 30 he is in now, he is struggling! He suffers constantly from coughs and colds, the climate would be better for him , he would grow up bilingual, the accom I can provide is much better etc

[ummmm]

Not true....you have to live your life to suit your son. In the eyes of the law your son is better off with two parents.

So, you seriously can afford/be bothered to travel back to England every few weeks?

[falrep]

I believe the life I wish to provide would suit/benefit my son and yes I seriously can afford and be bothered to travel back to the UK every few weeks. I propose to live only minutes from the airport, my ex lives minutes from a uk airport and the flight is only 4.5 hours as for cost this is what I would be prepared to do to ensure and relationship for my son with his father, as I have stated I do not want to stop them from being father and son!

[falrep]

also on the subject of 2 parents, my partner of the last 2.5 years has done more, provided more and supported my son more than his actual father ever has so my son has yet he agrees that my son needs his actual father. My son has more than enough stability

[237SJ]

ummm not splitting hairs but a child can travel from age 5 to 12 alone but there is a charge (called Skyflyer Solo).