legal rights

[nextqueen]

my friend has a turbulent relationship with her ex. she dated him some years ago and he used to knock her around. 3 years ago they got back together and she more or less fell pregnant straight away. he kicked her out of the house when their daughter was 3 months old, he seems quite a control freak where she has an adventurous streak always wanting to live abroad in oz. her boyfriend keeps going mad saying he wants his name on the birth certificate which up until now she has resisted doing. shes tempted to do it to help things move on but she wants to know more legal implications in doing so. she is thinking of moving to work in brazil, dont ask! she is scared that her boyfriend can stop her going with his daughter but as hes not on the birth certificate can they do this. if she tells, asks him that shes going to brazil, surely he can stop her going because of seeing his daughter. can he do this? i said couldnt she just go first then plead ignorance afterwards? he does have a relationship with his 3 yr old daughter and sees her most weekends. what is the best thing to do? who would get custody rights? does she need to ask permission? would a dna test be done though he is defo the father?

[tamborine]

They're not married so he couldn't stop her taking the child wherever. Tell her to put the child on her passport so she has more control. Is she claiming CSA off him ?

[nextqueen]

think he gives her some money, not the full amount so dont think its through the csa, will check. Cant a court refuse for them to leave the country as he has a relationship with his daughter, her fear is that he may take her to court to stop her going just when she finds a job to go to.

[tamborine]

It's v.expensive to get such Court rulings. Usually the mothers get custody unless the mother is bad, ie alcoholic, drugs etc.

[nextqueen]

so will it change things if she puts his name on her birth certificate. i suppose he could always request dna tests to prove shes his though shes not denying it. he just wants ownership i think and a hold on his girlfriend, ie control.

[Buenchico]

Your friend's ex can only prevent her taking their son out of the country if he has obtained parental responsibility. These are the four ways in which he could have parental responsibility:

1. You make no mention of marriage but (for the sake of completeness) I'll mention that the ex would have automatic parental responsibility if he had been married to your friend at the time of the child's birth (irrespective of whether his name appeared on the birth certificate) ;

2. As your post implies, the ex would have parental if he had jointly registered the child's birth along with your friend (i.e. if his name appeared on the birth certificate) ;

3. The ex could also obtain responsibility through your friend voluntarily entering into a formal parental responsibility agreement with him (which seems to be an unlikely scenario).

Lastly . .

4. The ex could apply to a court to seek parental responsibility. The court would have to consider the degree of commitment shown by the father to his child, the degree of attachment between father and child, and the father's reasons for applying for the order (which could include his fear that the child would be permanently taken out of the country).

Relevant links:
http://www.direct.gov...entsRights/DG_4002954
and
http://www.direct.gov...ildpassport/DG_174106

Chris

[nextqueen]

so number 4 then surely means he can stop her leaving without his consent?

[Buenchico]

No 4 means that he has the legal right to APPLY for parental responsibility. It would be up to the court to decide whether or not to GRANT him parental responsibility. The court must consider the factors I've mentioned but the court's overriding responsibility is to act in the best interests of the child.

Chris

[tamborine]

No 4 would be private legal costs; not legal aid....is he rich (he needs to be) :)

[Buenchico]

PS: If the ex does obtain responsibility, and your friend does not have a residence order (granted by a court) she will always need the ex's permission to take her daughter out of the country (even for a day trip). She will be committing a serious criminal offence if she attempts to take the girl abroad without the ex's consent.

If the ex obtains responsibility but your friend holds a residence order, she will be able to take her daughter abroad on holiday (for up to one month at a time) without his permission. But any attempt to take the girl out of the country for longer, without his permission, will be a serious criminal offence.

Chris

[nextqueen]

so do you think it would be a good idea for her to just up and go and take her daughter and then mention what shes done, claiming ignorance?

[tamborine]

yep.....go quick if he's bad. Has she got a Brit passport ?

[nextqueen]

yes, she has a passport. sure she was told he could contest her going within 3 weeks if she asked his permission or just told him beforehand!

[Buenchico]

That would depend upon your definition of 'a good idea'.

Legally, the ex currently can't prevent your friend from emigrating to Brazil with her daughter, and your friend won't be breaking any laws if she does so.

However, as someone who backs the campaigns of 'Father's for Justice', I'm not going to suggest that emigration under such circumstances meets with my idea of 'a good idea'. It would seem contrary to the best interests of the child.

Chris

PS: Does your friend speak fluent Portuguese? Does she have both a residence visa and a work visa for Brazil? Will her work there provide her with the funds for the private medical care that she or her daughter might need? Has she looked into 'ex-pat' insurance?

[tamborine]

dont tell him & go. Be best if she contacted Brit Embassy at her destination; they'll keep her wherabouts secret if she wishes.

[Buenchico]

Further to your last post (which you sent while I was typing), if the ex became aware that your friend was about to emigrate in the very near future he could seek a court injunction, preventing her from doing so, until such time as he could appear before a court to seek a residence order.

[nextqueen]

and would that be pretty quick to do if he were to find out before she left?

[tamborine]

yes....instant almost if he got to know.

[flip_flop]

You mention the father has a relationship with his daughter and sees her most weekends - presumably, therefore, father and child are in a loving relationship.

On the assumption they are in a loving relationship, and there is nothing in your original post or subsequent posts that suggest otherwise, then you, your friend and tamborine are morally bankrupt.

Your friend for thinking of doing a moonlit flit and you and tamborine for suggesting it.

Clearly any man who knocks around a woman is inherently a coward, so I'm not suggesting for a moment that his actions should be forgiven, I'm also not suggesting that your friend should stay so that the father can see his daughter.

But your friend should stay so that her daughter can continue seeing her father.

[tamborine]

flip flop....mother leaving was not my suggestion tho' its better than a 3y old witnessing the distress of her mother's beatings.

Fathers for justice is very noble, till father's misbehave as this one is.

[flip_flop]

How is he misbehaving?

It is unforgivable that he use to hit the mother "some years ago" - granted - but as far as I can tell from the remainder of the post he hasn't done anything wrong since.