Mikey, Helen slapped him. I did the same after a terrible, similar tirade - the result was a horrible assault on me, but, technically, I was to blame for the first physical action. Fortunately the police saw my injuries, saw no marks on him and carted him off for a night in the nick - and told me that he'd do it again, so I knew where their sympathies lay. I felt so guilty, even so. It is not always clear-cut.
Fortunately, the next, and final, really bad time, he attacked me first (lots of small ones in between) and I could get Drs. ref., gendarmes witness etc.. It's not easy when you are walking on eggshells, you can blame yourself and excuse them quite easily.
Helen may have to get to that point before she opens her eyes.
On BBC R4 there is a speech that we would all love Helen to make. :)