Soham - A Parents Tale

[Ann]

Documentary was on ITV tonight - 10 years on from the sad case of the murder of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman.

Although at the time everyone was waiting for news, joining in the search, and grieving for the 2 families when their little bodies were found, I personally think they should now let the two girls rest in peace.

I feel slightly uncomfortable that her dad, Kevin, almost seems to revel in the publicity (he also did at the time, he gave continuous TV interviews) and will obviously be writing a book from his diary entries which he said he kept from the time she went missing. Maybe it's just me, but he didn't show much grief in a way most parents would. Its quite telling that the Chapman family have had no part in interviews or publicity since, and have kept a dignified silence. ...................One good thing has come out of this sad case though, the Police now have to keep better records between counties of committed crimes.
What are your thoughts on the programme if you watched it?

[Ann]

Thanks for your thoughts and comments everyone, my special love to all of you who mentioned you have also lost loved ones and how it affected you x

[LoftyLottie]

Hello Ann. Just saw this, and found your view interesting.

I felt quite the reverse actually. I thought he was amazing and showed great strength and was a pillar of support for his wife and son. And he has channelled his grief into his charitable work. I very intelligent man indeed.

I didn't think he revelled in publicity in the least.

[NOX]

I didn't watch it but from experience I too know that different people grieve differently and I wouldn't presume to judge anyone on how they do or don't show their grief. The man lost a child under the vilest of circumstances, I think that says it all really irrespective of how he may or may not have looked.

[Ann]

Maybe it was just me then Lottie (you and me usually agree on things :) but we (me and hubby) both felt at the time that he was giving interviews every single day, and then to write a book, now another book in the offing .............I was also disappointed he didn't mention Jessica's family at all. But never mind I suppose I am in the minority, although some of my friends mentioned the same tonight when I asked if they had seen the programme. They did seem a nice family, it was just Kevin I had a strange feeling about.

[ummmm]

My son lost his mate just over two years ago. His mother, an old friend of mine, hasn't given herself a chance to grieve properly. Her focus has been to find blame...that's what's keeping her going.

[ummmm]

Do you not think that interviews about her and writing books about her keeps her alive? He just sounds like a man who doesn't want to let go.

[Ann]

I would add that I like the rest of the nation, was horrified when it happened to those two lovely girls, it was so hard to believe Ian Huntley could have done such an evil thing and be perfectly normal when interviewed as the school caretaker. There are some dreadful evil people in this world .....................

[nescio]

Most people cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a child, but Holly's parents seem to have got it right about how to deal with it.
...and to ITV's credit, they did not interrupt this hour-long programme with a single ad break.

[Ann]

Maybe you are right ummmmmm I hadn't thought of that train of thought. It must have been really dreadful for both families.

[Ann]

We noticed that nescio, no adverts at all in an hour long programme, I can't remember that happening before.

[sue11]

Yes agree that different people deal with things in different ways. I cannot imagine the grief that both sets of parents are going through, even 10 years later it must be so so difficult to deal with.
Ann86 I agree with you that sometimes it is a bit disquieting to see people dealing with grief in a very public way, you kind of expect them to shed lots of tears, but keep their thoughts private so I understand where you are coming from and no I am sure that you do not expect your approval to be gained as has been suggested on this thread.
But remember when Sarah Payne was murdered, that was a good example of two people dealing with tragedy differently.
Her mother Sara was incredibly strong and pushed for Sarah's law by getting as much publicity as she could. On the other hand her father Mike was completely broken by his daughters murder, I remember seeing them both on tv, Sara was composed, but he looked like he was on another planet, I remember thinking how dead his eyes looked, poor man.
I hope that both families are able to come to peace, Kevin Wells was talking in a newspaper interview that the family were looking to move back into the house they were living in when Holly was murdered. I think that will take a lot of courage to do.

[Raychel1234]

I did watch the documentary and completely disagree with your vision of if, I don't think that anyone, unless they have been trough something as horiffic as this can even begin to pass comment on wether or not he was displaying any signs of grief, how ignorant a comment to make! What was pleasing to see was the positive impact they had made out of such terrible circu,satnces and how they continue to help others going through the loss of someone, also how they continued to remember and keep Hollie alive within their lives and maintain some sort of normality for their son to grow up with balance and security, it's this that we need to focus on not wether or not they showed enough emotion for you, it's becUse of these tragic inccidents that our children are unable to play safely on the streets, I remember exactly what I was doing that tragic day and I certainly won't forget it and would want everyone else to remember!