I'm Still Here And Still At It.

[Rondy]

The Ding family had a son whom they named William. He grew up to become a famous architect. In fact, he traveled all over the world, designing massive structures.
He was even hired to design entire cities. In fact, skyscrapers were named after him.
That’s why wherever you go, you will usually find at least one Bill Ding.

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I've always called a spade a spade, that was until ten minutes ago, when I tripped on one in my garden.

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Do you own a hoe?
Yes.
Do you ever complain about it?
Yes.
Then that makes you a homeowner.

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I went to see a new UB40 tribute band last night
They called themselves WD40.
They were a bit rusty to start, but good once they got going .

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Interviewer : What can you tell me about the last three years of your life?
Me : Well, I just hope they haven't started yet.

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The misses caught me out yesterday....I won't be playing cricket with her anymore.

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Just letting you all know, I got hit by a car yesterday..... It's ok, it's not serious, I just feel a bit rundown!

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I got a taxi last night he said “that will be £8”
I said, “I’ve only got £7.50 can you reverse back a bit”

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My optician said he has my test results back.
I said can I see them?
He said “probably not”

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Sad News today.
One of the Russian Acrobats in our Human Pyramid has been Deported, Now we don't have Oleg to stand on.

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I got talking to a woman at party who told me she had just divorced a professional footballer.
I said, oh no - was it messy?

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[albaqwerty]

Painfully excellent! Really liked them

[Patsy33]

Thanks for the smiles! 😆

[fourteen85]

I like the optician one