Crosswords0 min ago
Still Want A Laugh?
I don't attack people.
I'm all stalk and no action.
I bet Dracula does all his shopping online, just so he can keep clicking on "your account."
I rubbed a magic lamp and wished for the genie not to wear any underwear.
He said, "Your wish is me commando."
I won a dream holiday to the Bahamas.
I woke up gutted.
I was mortified when my son caught me walking round the bedroom in high heels and women's underwear.
I don't know why, I'm his mother.
I have been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator.
Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.
I took a vase to get valued on the Antiques Road Show, and they told me it was "absolutely priceless."
Well, I got four quid for it at a car boot sale last weekend. Who is laughing now?
The wife knew I had today off and texted, "Darling, can you do us a favour and bring some washing in for me?"
Boy is she going to be pleased.
I've been round all the neighbours and she must have 30 bags full to do.
I got in a load of trouble at the farm with my German boss recently.
Turned out he wanted me to order 30 sows and pigs, not 30,000 pigs.
I'm all stalk and no action.
I bet Dracula does all his shopping online, just so he can keep clicking on "your account."
I rubbed a magic lamp and wished for the genie not to wear any underwear.
He said, "Your wish is me commando."
I won a dream holiday to the Bahamas.
I woke up gutted.
I was mortified when my son caught me walking round the bedroom in high heels and women's underwear.
I don't know why, I'm his mother.
I have been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator.
Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.
I took a vase to get valued on the Antiques Road Show, and they told me it was "absolutely priceless."
Well, I got four quid for it at a car boot sale last weekend. Who is laughing now?
The wife knew I had today off and texted, "Darling, can you do us a favour and bring some washing in for me?"
Boy is she going to be pleased.
I've been round all the neighbours and she must have 30 bags full to do.
I got in a load of trouble at the farm with my German boss recently.
Turned out he wanted me to order 30 sows and pigs, not 30,000 pigs.
Answers
Quite funny, the lot of them. That reminds me, I must take off my neighbours bra soon... ...the damn thing is killing me.
22:51 Thu 16th May 2013