I've adopted a simple tactic for dealing with this ridiculous and nauseating habit when it gets too much for me (which is all too often). All I do is treat the statements as questions. e.g:
Imbecile: "I went to ^^the shops the other day"
Me: "I don't know. Can't you remember?"
Imbecile: "Yes, I bought a nice ^^new dress."
Me: ".I can't see how you expect me to know. Have a look in your shopping bag"
Imbecile: "I don't know why I'm ^^talking to you. You don't seem to ^^understand what I'm saying"
Me: "Correct"
And another thing!
Why do people ask if they can "get" something when in fact they'd like it to be got for them. e.g. (whilst in the pub):
Idiot: "Can I get a pint of Fosters?"
What the barman should have said: "No you can't. The public are not allowed this side of the bar. If you want a pint of Fosters I'd be pleased to get it for you" (Though he'd probably say "...I'd be pleased to ^^get it for you")
NJ takes two of his stronger tablets then goes ^^for a lie down. :-)