Internet Dating Fraud.

[Bigbad]

Do you think that people who get conned like this are stupid or just unlucky?

https://www.itv.com/news/2019-08-02/internet-dating-fraudsters-who-conned-women-out-of-240-000-sentenced-to-more-than-a-decade-behind-bars/

[teacake44]

I wonder how often it happens to men?
I wonder how often it happens to women?
I don't know.
But it happens to both.

[Jordyboy9]

Bobbisox,if what you say is true then I feel no pity for stupid gullible women,they may be lonely or frustrated whatever adjective you want to use stupid is what I say.

[teacake44]

Not stupid, just to trusting.

[Bobbisox1]

And very likely lonely too Teacakes

[Bigbad]

I'm in complete agreement with you, Jordyboy.

[Ken4155]

'Stupid' a bit too harsh, perhaps. Lonely, desperate and very gullible, perhaps.

[Bobbisox1]

Exactly Ken, it's all too easy to label someone stupid from the comfort of an armchair

[naomi24]

I think they’ve heard all the stories but think for them it will be different. I recall reading about a woman who met a man in Africa, was tricked - and then did it again. Flattery is a useful tool.

[jim360]

Most recent time anything like this happened to me I could swear that the person at the other end asked if they could give *me* money. Still a massive red flag.

Easier to judge when you aren't emotionally involved. People want to believe the best of those who seem interested in them (or at the very least are pretending to be). Rational judgement goes out of the window when you're (a) lonely, (b) putting yourself out there, and (c) facing a chance to be not lonely.

[naomi24]

I can understand older people resorting to internet dating sites by I don’t understand why young people use them. Why is it so difficult for them to meet people?

[agchristie]

Naomi //don’t understand why young people use them. //

There are so many dating apps it's no surprise. I would never use them though.

[lankeela]

Must be totally deluded.

[jim360]

99.9% of young people are only on dating websites because their friend set up their profile as a joke. Fact.*

*Not actually a fact.

[Bigbad]

I think maybe my question was badly worded. I took it from the ITV site.

I think proper dating sites (and I don’t include bonking sites!) are hugely popular. The one’s where people actually go on a date and take it from there. I know of people that have met a long term partner on one. (Although I do hope folk are cautious to start with).
I think some of those that end up getting conned, are sought out on Facebook and other similar social media sites.

[teacake44]

Naomi, there are young and trusting youngster around to, with little experience and may be very shy, a dating site is a way ( they think) of meeting someone without any embarrassment, or performing on a live stage, as such, and that goes for older folk to.

[ummmm]

Naomi - My son met his GF on a dating App. He said that most of the girls he met when out tended to be too drunk. As could he be.

He's been with her since their first date.

[teacake44]

Well here is a true case of no social site/ dating site involved, and may well be a heads up for some, I hope.
A guy I knew who was single in his late 30s, and a nice social, upstanding man. He like many others his age went out to bars and clubs to enjoy and hopefully meet a female partner.

He did one night spent 2/3 hours chatting and having a drink ( he doesn't drink alcohol ) never has, only soft drinks, they arranged to meet at the same bar 3 nights later, they did and had another 2/3 hours chatting and being sociable. At the end of the evening she asked him if he could give her a lift home just 10mins away, he did
the address she gave him, and showed him the way was bogus, he dropped her off in a dark carpark near the so called address, that she requested, when he stopped the car for her to get out, he was attacked, beaten, robbed by two males, they took his debit card, forced the number out of him, and drained his bank account. Needless to say he never saw that women again anywhere since, in or out the bar it was all one big set up. So take care!!

[Baldric]

Imo the victims are best described as needy.

[Bigbad]

I watched a programme about ‘Suffolk Strangler’ Steve Wright. It was presented by Professor David Wilson.
Steve Wright often went to Thailand to meet women.
Prof. Wilson described men that do this as “sad, weedy, and needy.”
I think the description can be used for some women too.

[teacake44]

What I describe at 13.47 is not uncommon, its just not very often reported, as the victim feels embarrassed, and even if they do report it, the investigation of such a crime takes to much time up, without any real results or convictions. The women can disguise her self with wig and makeup/ hat, and you don't see the male attackers in the dark with hoodies or whatever.