bhg481 - // I care not one jot what language people use, so long as it's not intended to be deliberately offensive. To me, saying "The N word" is just as bad as using the word itself. //
The difficulty is, just because you (and I use the term generically, not aimed at you specifically) don't mean offence, doesn't mean that no offence is taken.
Thereby lies the danger of joining the individuals who positively revel in their utter absence of empathy and understanding of a viewpoint other than their own.
These people usually announce their presence with conversational gems such as "I believe in plain speaking ..." and a particular gem of my late father's, who could be chairman of the organisation, he always preceded his current ignorant and bigoted pronouncement with "Well, do you want to know what I think ..." as though the ensnared audience actually had a choice in the matter!!
But to be serious, and make a point - part of living in a society with others is a duty of awareness as caring human beings that what we say and what we do cannot be conducted in the notion of a vacuum - what we say and what we do impacts on those around us in all sorts of ways and degrees.
It's not good enough to go through life thinking - and this applies to all manner of words and actions - I don't understand it, and it doesn't mean anything to me, therefore I can ignore it and speak and act as though it doesn't matter to other people - because it does.
Obviously I have no truck with the 'woke' generation who waste inordinate amounts of time actively looking for things to take offence at, usually on behalf of other people - that is as unhelpful as idiots who simply don't take the time and trouble to care a little.
The way I see going through life is just to do your best with people.
You will get it wrong, everyone does, but be ready to admit your failing, and simply apologise and move on, safe in the knowledge that the majority of people are making similar allowances for your own personal quirks and foibles.
That's how we live together, in the middle, doing our best, not at the outer limits, being a royal pain.