The Perils Of Privatisation - Part X
News2 mins ago
Does Santa exist?
27 Answers
For and against answers please. To kick off here is the case for against.
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, assuming Santa only visits Christian homes, this reduces the workload for
Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau).
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the
next house.
Can it be done?
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Furthermore, Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking
about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For
purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull
no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases
the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For
purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull
no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases
the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
A 600,000 tonne sledge travelling at 650 miles per second would create enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion
as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of
accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he would surely be squished.
But, I could be wrong!
as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of
accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he would surely be squished.
But, I could be wrong!
stevie_c2it - it's nice to know the old ones are still the old ones and are being brought to a new generation.
My favourtite preamble for this spiel is to suggest it was the reuslt of research by physicists, or engineers or actuaries, or mathematicians at some noble and learned academic institution....
Keep up the good work!
Well I don't know how he does it but he does. Every year for the past 34 years the blighter has managed to sneak down my chimney and leave me the presents I asked for in my letters, without even a thud in the night. I am concerned however that he might be slightly over the limit as I always leave him a little glass of brandy to keep him warm, only to find out my friends do as well - and he always drinks them all. The reindeers must be terribly fat and windy as well because they get more than a few carrots in the night I can tell you.
Don't be silly, stevie.
Everyone knows that Father Chritmas' work was outsourced years ago. They sacked Santa, then re-employed him at considerably worse Terms & Conditions compared to what he was on previously. They totally ignored their obligations under the TUPE regulations. In addition, the biogenetics division of Santa Inc. cloned Father Christmas without his knowledge, and used the Santa clones to undermine the original's position, ultimately leading to his dismissal. He failed to win his Constructive Dismissal claim.
The clones continue to work beyond pensionable age as they have no pension provision, and any representation they had in the Father Christmases Union was quashed and outlawed years ago.
'Tis very sad indeed.
No kids at home now but I don't care as I shall put out my biggest mince pie and a very large glass of whatever is around - probably Courvoisier for Santa.
Well, the poor old boy needs regular fuel stops and with a few glasses of grog he probably won't notice how bad his back is from dragging around all those lovely parcels with my name on them. Anyone who doesn't believe in him should listen for the tinkling of sleigh bells on Christmas Eve.
I'm not sure that I feel entirely comfortable outing him like this, but I think that my Dad might be Santa. I caught him filling my stocking when I was a kid and we've kept quiet about it ever since. He's always been very vague about his work, and has frequent 'business trips' which I expect he uses to check up on the elves. I presume he's been carrying this secret around with him for years, so Santa does exist.
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