Jokes1 min ago
Sometimes You Just Have To Start Again.......
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Labour have made such a monumental mess in 5 months that the PM is having a relaunch. Do you think there will be any changes in direction?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I don't think Rachel from accounts has the remotest clue what she is doing. She seems to think that the targets for her taxation will just pay up and look big. She does not seem to have factored in the cause and effect of her actions.
She must have some civil servants with some sort of a clue, either she is ignoring them or they are just letting her hang herself.
the BBC report bullet point 2 as "building 1.5million homes in England".
that's not much good on its own, the occupiers of these homes need support infrastructure (that won't be the 150 major infrastructure projects also mentioned in bullet point 2) such as shops, GP surgeries, schools, and sustainable transport provision. recent experience is that newbuild estates have none of these (the developers usually "run out of money" before then), meaning the residents have to leave the estate for everything they need, and a lack of sustainable transport means the only safe way to leave the estate is by car.
He made his announcements yesterday at the home of farce Pinewood Studios. Carry On Up the Khazi it is then
Seven PILLARS, six MILESTONES, five MISSIONS, three FOUNDATIONS - but not ONE firm target to cut migration. Our sketch writer QUENTIN LETTS endures Starmer's bingo hall parade of buzzwords and political nerdspeak
This is what Quinten Letts said.
""Pinewood film studios have, over the decades, seen their share of box-office flops and glass-jawed boobies who thought they were God’s gift.
Now Sir Keir Starmer, the George Lazenby of prime ministers, had chosen the place for his Government’s relaunch.
‘Reset’ was Downing Street’s preferred term, but in movies they say ‘take two’.
That’s after the first attempt was a disaster, with the main actor pulling the doorhandle off, fluffing his lines and stepping on his leading lady’s hem, ripping her dress and leaving her starkers.
‘Back to the top, please,’ says the director. ‘And Keir, darling, remember you’re supposed to be prime minister, not a bloke come to read the meter.’""
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And ...
""the room was by now rigid, paralysed by ennui – he snapped ‘change and reform are coming’. At which he glared at us like a startled lavatory brush.
I suppose I have heard worse speeches by a prime minister, speeches more constipated by cliche and meaningless slogan. But I cannot immediately think of one""
A Startled lavatory brush. Haha. I have laughed until it hurts.