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Terrorist Lovers
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Part I
A Lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the " Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will more than likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.
PleAse continue reading in answer Pt..II
A Lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington.
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the " Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will more than likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.
PleAse continue reading in answer Pt..II
Answer Part II
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless, in your opinion, this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure, in time, you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka.
Just remember that it is all part of " respecting his culture and his religious beliefs". Wasn't that how you put it ?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed, and remember, we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially,
your friend,
Donald Rumsfeld.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless, in your opinion, this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure, in time, you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka.
Just remember that it is all part of " respecting his culture and his religious beliefs". Wasn't that how you put it ?
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed, and remember, we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially,
your friend,
Donald Rumsfeld.
Rather ******** timing on your part considering the fact that Bush has just backtracked on his previously stated position and has been forced to agree the Guantanamo captives do in fact have to be treated in accordance with the Geneva Convention, one of the key demands of the people this lazy piece is attempting to satirise...
I think if a few Guardian reading, tofo eating loonie lefites (but still in the eyes of terrorists unholy enemy infidels and legitimate targets) were wardens in prison housing terrorists for a month, they may have a different view of these terrorists at the end. We dont (and rightly so) hear people bleeting about the rights of other non-muslim serial killers.
The point is that all these lil Miss. Oh! We're So Good at Protecting YOur Rights While You May Please Bomb Our Arses, activists, should know when to shut up and look after their own peoples interests. Imagine the treatment meted out to a European in a Terrorist Supporting country jail. Gives me the jitters!!
So ChampagneMan, are you suggesting the erosion of the rights of the individual and legal due process are secondary to the actions of our political leaders, as long as they argue they are acting in the public interest?
That is the kind of thinking that has renewed interest among radical Americans in the formation of militias' hostile to the increased centralisation of power in the USA.
That is the kind of thinking that has renewed interest among radical Americans in the formation of militias' hostile to the increased centralisation of power in the USA.
I'm amazed at your depth of insight that you are so convinced that everyone in Guantanamo deserves to be there and wasn't just picked up and bundled into a truck by some grunt soldier.
Nobody right or left want's to release dangerous terrorists. There's just a few of us with the outrageous notion in our heads that Americans shouldn't just pick up anyone they feel like and imprison and torture them indefinately without trial.
Mad I know
Nobody right or left want's to release dangerous terrorists. There's just a few of us with the outrageous notion in our heads that Americans shouldn't just pick up anyone they feel like and imprison and torture them indefinately without trial.
Mad I know
The motivation is simply "the precautionary principal"
They pick up a load of people at a location they believe to be suspicious and nobody wants to take the responsibility for releasing them.
All you terrified right wing Mail readers are quaking behind your chintz curtains.
"Please Mr Rumsfld do whatever you like just don't let the nasty terrorists come and get me!"
When will you realise what happens when you let politicians scare you into ignoring the law?
When they start burning books? Maybe when people have to wear a yellow crescent moon on their clothes or will they have to write "Arbeit Macht Frei" on the gates at Guantanamo?
How far exactly will you let them go?
They pick up a load of people at a location they believe to be suspicious and nobody wants to take the responsibility for releasing them.
All you terrified right wing Mail readers are quaking behind your chintz curtains.
"Please Mr Rumsfld do whatever you like just don't let the nasty terrorists come and get me!"
When will you realise what happens when you let politicians scare you into ignoring the law?
When they start burning books? Maybe when people have to wear a yellow crescent moon on their clothes or will they have to write "Arbeit Macht Frei" on the gates at Guantanamo?
How far exactly will you let them go?
