Maddie.......Who do you blame .....?

[soobet]

Think about this.....We left our three children alone in a hotel room while we went to the pub, the patio doors were open, luckily they never bothered to try and climb the balcony rail. and fall to their death However my three year old got out of bed and was playing with paper and the electrical sockets. She set the room on fire and is now fighting for her life.....

Yes !! thinking what im thinking ?

We would be responsible for this and if the above were true now we would have been arrested.

I cannot begin to imagine why anyone would leave children alone like that any number of things could have happened to those children. The parents are suffering now and my heart goes out to them and the little girl (God Love Her) but they are totally to blame for all this

[soobet]

netibiza & reverandfunk ty someone has actually thought about what i put..... The media over here would have cut our B**** off by now. I pray that little girl is found safe and untouched ! But if i were to come face to face with her parents i would tell them exactly what i thought.......

[netibiza]

I would probably be a bit more tactful, because whatever they've omitted to do, they are suffering - but what about little Maddie, what about her suffering, everyone must remember that. With a little bit of forethought this never would have happened, and yes, I did always think ahead when it came to my child. I have missed out on dinners and gatherings because I didn't have a baby-sitter, and no, I would not leave her with just anybody.

[Reverandfunk]

Well said Netibiza and as far as the restaurant being 50 yards away, more like a 5 minute walk and if your child was choking 50 yards away would you hear them? NO

If they ran the bath and drowned would you see them? NO

Lets not forget the parents had been leavingf their kids alone ALL week with doors unlocked!

Don't try and justify the parents actions and say they are not 100% to blame because they're not. The tradegy is that a little girl is missing and likely never to be seen again but they are the ones who have to go to sleep at night knowing that it's they're fault because they put going out for a meal before their kids.

[chompu]

I agree with you, soobet, it is not just about the extremely rare risk of abduction but also the many other serious mishaps that young children can have within seconds let alone an half an hour.To those who make excuses for this behaviour, variously on other sites accusing we critics of being 'perfect' and on our 'high horse', I would say if having never left my children without immediate help being at hand means I am perfect I will accept that and continue on riding. I would accept their line of reasoning if they could honestly say that they wouldn't be angry ,were they to be told, when going to collect their small child from playschool or school, 'I,m sorry your child has had a serious accident/ abducted, we left them unsupervised whilst we went for a cup of tea.' I won't accept the argument that this was different because they were asleep, they could have woken at any time.

[Oneeyedvic]

soobetBut if i were to come face to face with her parents i would tell them exactly what i thought....... - wow - you are all heart - not only are parents going through the thought that they may have lost their daughter through their own fault, they now have to contend with nutters approaching them and telling them that it is their fault and should have no sympathy. I assume that on weekends you go done to the cancer ward of your local hospital and tell any smokers that it is their own fault and they deserve to die.

netibizaThe parents did not take enough precautions, thus a crime was committed. If the bank left the doors unlocked and all your money was stolen, wouldn't you blame the bank? of course you would. The McCanns left the girl in a locked room. This is hardly the same as leaving a room wide open for someone to steal her.

Reverandfunk (I love the irony of calling yourself reverand when you don't seem to have an an ounce of compassion) iif your child was choking 50 yards away would you hear them? NO

If they ran the bath and drowned would you see them? NO I assume that you don't have children. If you do, I assume that when they go to bed you never watch TV or listen to music with headphones on either? Or sit in a garden 50 yards away.

they are the ones who have to go to sleep at night knowing that it's they're fault because they put going out for a meal before their kids. - agreed and I don't think they need people like you or the OP telling them that. I'm sure they can't feel any more guilty than they already do.

[Reverandfunk]

Spot on Chompu.

[Reverandfunk]

Vic why on earth should I have compassion for someone who neglects their kids??? If I was babysitting your child and went down the shops for half an hour and something happened while I was gone who would be to blame? The fairies??

The only person I have compassion for is the child.

[netibiza]

Oneeyevic - err the door was UNLOCKED, this is the whole undeniable crux of the matter. Had they not left them unattended, had the doors been locked, she could not have been snatched. Ok something else horrible could have happened, the whole point being that they were unattended. How can you disagree with that? I suppose you thought OJ was innocent along with half of America!! As parents we have to assume the worse and protect our children.

[Oneeyedvic]

netibiza my mistake, I thought the doors were locked - so in your opinion it would have been okay to leave them if the door was locked then?

reverandfunk you don't seem to have answered my other questions - do you have kids and do you ever leave them upstairs by themselves?

[chompu]

Oneeyedvic, why do you twist peoples' words, netibiza has consistently stated on various threads that it was wrong to leave them unattended regardless of the locking or not of the door. As for your question to reverandfunk, of course if he has children they would at some point be in their room alone. At some point he would sleep. BUT he would be close by should an emergency arise.

[netibiza]

Oneeyevic are you being deliberately obtuse?? I also stated UNATTENDED - can you read???

[Oneeyedvic]

netibiza - I apologise, My mistake, i did miss the word unattended.

My point to reverandfunk is that it takes seconds for an accident to happen - and the amount of children who die each year from some sort of accident is obviously too high. However, the examples he quoted are things that could happen regardless of whether the parents are 50 yards away or in the next room.

soobet - I assume since you have read netibiza's numerous points before that you have seen the other threads regarding where the blames lies - but you still insisted on starting a new thread again blaming the parents. How sweet of you.

[netibiza]

Thanks oneeyevic - I think we can all agree that this a terrible tragedy and we can only hope and pray that Maddie is well and not suffering and will be returned to her family very soon.

[bdol4886346]

I don`t think maddie went to the supermarket Lonnie. In the reports, that I have read, the shutters of the room had been jemmied.

[netibiza]

No the shutters were untouched. I also have the same shutters here in Spain and believe me, they wouldn't look like that in the photo if they had been forced, they would have buckled - I always thought that wasn't right. They are not one solid piece, but can be slattedor closed, either way it certainly would have buckled.

[soobet]

Vic.... whatever... !You will have an answer. The point is... if it were here, and the child had died as a result of NEGLECT the parents would be without a doubt arrested and convicted... Yes her parents are suffering for their own stupidity. And i refuse to continue to argue with you who is so ignorant of basic child care.

[teddybon]

I agree whole heartedly with reverendfunk. Two professional 'Carers ' have made a grave error of judgement. They put their needs before those of their THREE young children and should be charged with neglect or at least investigated by Social Services. Their Health visitor should prepare a CAF form for their return whatever the outcome.

[Oneeyedvic]

soobetYes her parents are suffering for their own stupidity. .

But you still want to meet these people and "tell them exactly what you thought"

And i refuse to continue to argue with you who is so ignorant of basic child care Why am I ignorant of childcare - because I point out that children can get into a mess in seconds when upstairs in a bedroom?

if it were here, and the child had died as a result of NEGLECT the parents would be without a doubt arrested and convicted...

This is what the Department of Health define as neglect: 'the persistent failure to meet a child's basic physical and/or psychological needs, likely to result in the serious impairment of the child's health or development. It may involve a parent or carer failing to provide adequate food, shelter and clothing, failing to protect a child from physical harm or danger, or the failure to ensure access to appropriate medical care or treatment. It may also include neglect of, or unresponsiveness to, a child's basic emotional needs'. "

Note the word persistent. So yes, there is a big doubt as to whether they would be charged.

Still why let facts get in the way of a rant?

[netibiza]

I thought the law was - that you may leave a child of 16yrs unattended, but if they come to harm in that time it is a crime, this was the law in the 60's when I was a foster parent.

[soobet]

netibiza...ty i rest my case... no need to rant when law is on side x