Smacking

[kags]

Do you think that a law to make it illegal to smack your own child would be of benefit to society? And also, how could such a law be policed?

[seal!]

i don't see how it could benefit society, and it couldn't be policed

[bernardo]

Yes. I was smacked as a child, and it never did me any good. It would be difficult to police, but no more difficult that the existing laws about rape or domestic violence etc. Of course, the difficulties of policing a law would not be an excuse for not introducing such a law.

[tartanwiz]

No. Children in the street already show impufence to their elders because they know they can't be touched. If such a law were passed, kids would threaten their own parents. And how would 'offending' parents be punished? By being separated from their children, just for giving a short sharp cuff, perhaps in a moment of anger. They may even be sent to prison, to be beaten up and raped by other prisoners. This would only prove that law = fear of punishment or violence. Therefore it would NOT make society less violent or more caring or more understanding. I don't like smacking kids, but enforcing a law is not the answer.

[Quizmonster]

Personally, I think it would be of vastly greater benefit to society if smacking one's children were made compulsory!

It's utter nonsense to shout mantras such as "Violence breeds violence" in this context. In the smacking-days of the 1940s/50s - which I lived through - striking a parent or even a teacher, say, was virtually a capital offence...indeed, I never heard of such an incident. Nowadays, teachers are lucky to get through a day unscathed and, in my local High Street the other day I heard a toddler calling his parents "Greedy gits" with never a word of reproach from either of them!

Most children today seem to be taught nothing whatever about respect for others by their parents and hence the yob culture we now live in.

The other social aspect that has disappeared is the concord that used to exist amongst all adults as to the need for children to be controlled. It's really true what we oldsters say...if you got a belting in school and your parents found out, you got a belting at home, too! If a neighbour heard you swearing, for example, he/she'd almost certainly tell your parents and you'd get another hiding.

Finally, even the Bible in the book of Proverbs Chapter 24 verse 13 says: "Withold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die." (This appears to be yet another part of their holy book that modern Christians seem to believe is dispensible!)

Discipline is essential and smacking in childhood is just an element of that.

[Jenny Tools]

Hear Hear Q

[molly]

I also agree with Q. I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm. Kids today, generally do not have the respect for others as we did (I grew up in the fifties and sixties). Crime and violence has risen at a tremendous rate in recent years and these are the kids who were brought up with far less discipline at home than we had as kids. There is a huge difference between parents who discipline there kids sensibly (and I believe most parents would come under this catagory), and parents who would beat there kids relentlessly (and there are already laws in place for this).

[Jenny Tools]

There already exists laws to protect children from abuse, unfortunately this does nothing to stop the perpetrators from carrying out acts of violence, the prospect of arrest will not deter an abuser and the more this namby pamby state goes down the line of protecting peoples rights the worst its going to get. As an abuser I can claim I need understanding and not locking up because I wasn't giving a dolly to play with as a child or some other bloody silly excuse. Now is the time to take responsibility for the children we bring up and teach them right from wrong and doing wrong things carries a consequence and NO I am not talking about a beating, no child deserves, needs or indeed benefits from that but without a foundation of right or wrong and morals, young children will turn into young thugs with rights and then into teenagers with no respect for anyone or anything

[Jenny Tools]

Sorry Molly we crosssed in posting

I guess u could alway beat them with a yucca ....... or would that bring on the greeny left wingers black gay rights police.

[nedflanders]

I also agree with QM i'm an 80's child and even I have noticed the difference in the ned (excuse the pun) culture. I remember once getting into trouble when I threw a snowball at a window. the guy came our and caught me and dragged me to my door and told my old man. i got an ass kicking. But if i was to do that (now i am a sensible father to Two young girls) to one of the local neds i'd either be charged of assault or beaten to death by the local mob. I say bring back capital punishmenor national service to installa some discipline. spitting chewing gum in the street = 3 lashes etc. etc. you don't see much litter on the streets of singapore.

[darth vader]

Also one of the QM-agreeing brigade. My children have NEVER been abused they have been brought up with the threat of a smack when necessary, and now my oldest (16) is a wonderful young man with respect for adults and other kids.

[Bob...]

Whats your slant on this then kags?

[kags]

well, thanks for asking ,Bob... - I agree with many of the sentiments expressed here. I don't necessarily think we should be saying "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm", because times and things change, society progresses. However, we must trust parents and guardians to behave responsibly and reasonably, the majority do and always will regardless of any law, and the minority that use violence learn to do so secretly, so they will continue to avoid detection. My fear is that the average, reasonable, loving and responsible parent who is stressed and harrassed in the supermarket queue, might give his/her child a mild smack in exasperation when he pulls over a display (we have all done it), and then resources that could be better used detecting abusers will then be used prosecuting that parent. Both sides of the debate seem to agree that most smackings are done in anger - a law won't stop that. And where will it go next? Will it be illegal to have alcohol in the house, or to smoke if you are a parent?

[lisaj]

Can I just say that this is one of the best question/answer-debates I've seen on AB for a very long time... it's all gone a bit downhill in the past 6-9 months or so, but this shows great, intelligent thought and discussion without so much as a handbag in sight for those with a differnet opinion... (and with respect to the question, I'm also a pro-QM)...

[coggles]

Kags, I couldn't agree more with you on this one. Jenny Tools, what did you mean when you said 'as an abuser, I....'

[headlesspets]

the concept of 'a loving smack' is to my mind, irrational - i don't see how hitting the most vulnerable members of our society teaches them anything other than that violence is ok... and not using physical punishment does not mean that there are no consequences when a child behaves badly - there are a range of other sanctions that can be used effectively.

[norfolk boy]

Smacking never hurt me-i had a book in my trousers.On a serious note theres a big differance between giving your child a smack and knocking seven bells out of them.The question which no body ever seems to answer, is sending a child to its bedroom with no meal a form of mental torture because i can quite assure you in a little mind there is nothing worse than thinking that you're unloved.With this in mind is smacking a bad thing!

[number8]

The idea is absurd. As a new father of an eight month old girl, I fervently hope I can raise my child without the need to smack her, however, I will not rule that option out. Norfolk boy is correct, as a young boy I'd much rather have been smacked than sent to my room for the night (no television, videos, DVD, computer games back then). Also, as a youngster, I wouldn't have even contemplated disrespecting an adult, yet nowadays it appears commonplace. And now for a sweeping generalisation, but so what: from my experience it is the children of chavs/neds/scallies (call them what you will) that are the problem, because they only have their parents as examples, and those parents generally don't work, and generally are little more than thugs. I am fortunate enough to live in an area that is out of reach financially for these people to live, and the kids surrounding me have been/are being brought up well and are polite and respectful - however, 10 minutes down the road is an area (didn't want to use the expression council estate, but that is exactly what it is) where the kids are bloody horrible. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

[coggles]

Jenny Tools, I am so sorry, I read your answer completely wrong and jumped to the wrong conclusions. I know exactly what you mean now and agree with you entirely. My apologies, once again.

[Jenny Tools]

Thats ok Coggles but I was only joking about beating them with a yukka plant :-')

[Tat]

i was only smacked a few times a a child and not hard but i was scared of it happening, and i honestly don't think it did do me any harm. that said i was always very secure and knew i was loved very much. i think it worked as a punishment/prevention for me (more the fear of the smack than the smack it's self) as nothing else really worked! but for other children other methods are more effective. did that make sense?