Lá Fhéile Pádraig

[Clanad]

In honor of St. Patrick's Day (there are more Irish here in the U.S. than the Auld Sod...at least for today)...

As Brendan Shaughnessy walked slowly up the walk to Sean O'Connor's home he was met at the door by Mary O'Connor who sensed bad news.
Mary, knowing her husband Sean worked with Shaugnessy at the Guiness Brewery quickly asked "Where's me husband?"... Brendan replied "I've bad news Mary, Sean fell into the vat of Foreign Extra and has died".

Very distraught, Mary asked, "Did he go quickly?"

"Well, no" says Brendan, "Actually he had to climb out and pee three times first..."

Dia is Mhuire Duit agus Padraig!

[MarkRae]

Latha Naomh Pàdraig sona dhuibh, bho huile ur càirdean albannaich!

[anotheoldgit]

One has to be very careful these days not to be accused of telling racist gags, but what the hell here goes.

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"

The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you
something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage, why did
you ask me if I'm Irish?"

The assistant replied, "Because you're in B & Q."

[merciasounds]

MarkRae - who are you calling a cow?

[NazNomad]

pmsl, nice one. :-))

[MarkRae]

Who am I calling a cow, you ask? Well, now let me think...

[MarkRae]

For the record, the Scots Gaelic says "Happy St Patrick's Day to you, from all your Scottish friends". Where on Earth did "cow" come from...?

[AB Editor]

Didn't you see this? http://www.theanswerb...g/Question998881.html

Be nice everyone!

[ummmm]

Because Mark...as it's St Patricks day I presume they are translating it into Irish Gaelic...not Scottish Gaelic...

[MarkRae]

In Scots Gaelic, 'bho' means 'from': http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bho

[ummmm]

Mark....this is what you said,,

Happy St. Patrick's Latha black, utterly ur cow càirdean albannaich