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Jemisa | 14:21 Fri 22nd Apr 2011 | Jokes
18 Answers
Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy....

The prime minister david Cammeron has announced that he intends to make it
difficult to claim benifits - - From next week all the forms will be in English.

On holiday recentlyin Spain, I saw a sign that said "English Speaking Doctor"
- - I thought What a Good Idea.Why don't we have 'em in our country?

I saw my friend drinking break-fluid the other day, he reckons he can
stop at any time.


In the pantomime ALLADIN there was this rumour he was being sexually abused - - -
Its not as if the audience didn't warn him every night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

jem.
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he-he
Jem, I like that, I have some I would never dare post, my blood would spill
Afternoon Jem - hows Sarrrfend today? I bet you are sunbathing topless....
shurrruupp you 2 suvvies, it's not se waam here...brrrr
Brilliant - I love those
eeeh, can I hide mine here...ha-ha

WHO IS JACK SCHITT

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt ? !' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
hahaha - very funny
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
Oh Gwoan, Gwoan Gwoan.

One for the World Snooker Championship on at the Crucible in Sheffield.

Man goes into see a Doctor Steve Davis,

"I have a snooker ball in my arse, Doctor Davis. What shall I do?"

"Well, a tip for you, you had better get to the end of the Queue then.....and here's some chalk for you to use. Perhaps you had better numb it with some Pot."
ha-ha McM
Jem this could be a joke for all thread...LOL
Question Author
Southend is beautiful, very warm & sunny, The sea front is very busy but on holiday days its for the day trippers not residents IMO
I Never sun bathe, I use fake tan.
Hope all is well with you Den & your mum is well as can be expected.

jem
Thanks Jem - I am a bit Tom & Dick at the moment, so can't sunbathe in the garden. Gel is painting the shed. Mum is not too bad.
Question Author
Yes I've seen that before Bobbi, but it was worth seeing again. It is very funny. Thanx

jem
Good gags, but on the subject of English you failed quite badly, TRI CHEKIN YUR SPELINS
Question Author
There's nothing wrong with my spelling.

Soo you belong to the force too do you?

jem
He's on the payroll!
They are brilliant jem, pity I rarely remember jokes et al to be able to tell them lol.
Lol jem I like the one liners

And lol@bobbie maybe dottie will take you on.

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