Crosswords1 min ago
Two Nuns....
TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT TESCO
AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER,
" WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"
THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER,
BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER,
SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT
."
"I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED,
AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECKOUT.
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS
ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. "WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR"
THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO.
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER.
PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:
"THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE."
AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER,
" WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"
THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER,
BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER,
SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT
."
"I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED,
AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECKOUT.
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS
ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. "WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR"
THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO.
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER.
PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:
"THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE."
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How funny that certain things should stick in the memory for such a long time. Although it is 43 years ago now, I vividly remember sitting in the local RAF recruiting office waiting nervously with a few other lads to be called up to take the oath of allegiance. At the front desk sat a corporal with the most enormous handlebar moustache smoking a pipe. There was a very popular brand of tobacco at the time called Three Nuns. As the sergeant descended the stairs to summon us up to the office he turned to the corporal (obviously a rehearsed set piece) and enquired, "Christ Almighty Corp, what are you smoking in that pipe?"
"Three Nuns, Sarge."
"Three Nuns? Smells to me if two of them have sh!t themselves!"
"Three Nuns, Sarge."
"Three Nuns? Smells to me if two of them have sh!t themselves!"
I burst out laughing, seeing it for what it was, an attempt to lower the tension and set the lads at ease. None of the others laughed so the sergeant asked me what was so funny? I said, "Your joke, Sarge", to which he replied, "You'll go far in the RAF bonny lad, but I don't hold out much hope for your mates". He was right, four of the other five were discharged after two weeks of basic training.
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