While hiking down along the river this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist
fall into the river. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Jamaican who was also struggling to stay afloat because
of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't
get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible English citizen and abiding by the law to help those in
distress, I informed the police and rescue services.
It is now 8 pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps!