With appologies to all Yorkshire folk.

[marval]

They have a new way of using Ecstasy in Yorkshire,

They Inject it into the mouth

They call it E by gum


But there's also the chap who takes his cat to the vet and says, "Right lad, I needs to talk to thee about me cat."

The vet enquires, "Is it a tom?"

To which the chap replies, "Don't be daft, I've brot it wi'us."



Barnsley Bill's dog dies. As Isaac (the dog) had been with him for so many years he decides to have a modest gold statuette made by yon jeweller.

Discussing his requirements with the jeweller, the jeweller asks, "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Bill smiles and says, "Nay, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger. He were a dog not a rabbit!"


A couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire.
'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.
"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'

"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'
"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.

"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"

'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'


A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.

He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.

When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - look man, you've left the "e" out, you've left the "e" out!

The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.

Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".

The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -

"E, she were thin".

[craft1948]

I worked in an office in London for a year and had some problems being understood because of my Yorkshire speech.
I found this quite hilarious considering my colleagues were Irish, Scottish, Italian, Canadian, Chinese, Jamaican, and Nigerian...........

[Arksided]

Sure they weren't all just cockneys ;-)

[Tubbycoates]

Marval, and all other thickoes on this stream, there is no such county as Yorkshire, and there hasn't been since 1974. The accent you are taking the pi** out of is South Yorkshire.

[Tubbycoates]

You're taking the P out of South Yorkshire people. There is no such county as Yorkshire, and there hasn't been since 1974 when it was abolished.

[China Doll]

I like this :c)

So good you had to say it twice tubby? Think the tone is a bit unnecessary on a jokey thread though.

[crisgal]

i have avfriend fron scarborough, and she says 'kerk'.
she liked my nescafe coffee machine and rang to ask me if it was a 'dolchy gerster' :)

[Avatar]

Yorkshire born and Yorkshire bred,
Strong in the arm and ...