The Defective Parrot...

Jemisa | 05:53 Sun 21st Aug 2011 | Jokes

8 Answers

This bloke is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The bloke says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'

Bloody Hell' the bloke replies.

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I understood every word,' says the parrot.
'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the bloke say's.

'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the bloke.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The bloke looks at the £200.00 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for £20, just make the shop bloke an offer.!'

The bloke offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The bloke is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the Postman.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the bloke.

'When the Postman delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the bloke asks incredulously.

'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the Postman came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yep.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic bloke demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.