Donate SIGN UP

a joke? or is it true?

Avatar Image
Bobbisox | 15:37 Thu 17th Nov 2011 | Jokes
101 Answers
Teaching Maths in Britain
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something... He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of unsecured debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses an
Gravatar

Answers

41 to 60 of 101rss feed

First Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Last

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by Bobbisox. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Busy busy busy....must dash.
we are, his name is mentioned - and yes, on second reading this thing you've pasted is negative about certain nationals bobbi - it might be true in people's experience, but i certainly don't think this is funny. Someone bigoted (and I don't mean you) thinks this is a funny thing to circulate. I don;t.
Question Author
neh, not my scene to do that Triggs..
Question Author
I can do no more than have to ask it to be removed boxy, which I now have
far too true!!! thanks x
Question Author
cath:-)
this is the sort of thing my elderly neighbour emails me.. no matter how many times I've told her not to.
Question Author
Oh Dear, just came back and seen this :-(
why haven't I been reported then ?
then it would be taken off
I'll do it for you Bobbi as people seem to have taken it way too seriously!
Question Author
thanks Jan, I have reported me but its still here :-)
No problem. Consider your wrists well and truly slapped. :-)
Don't fret about it bobbie. I bet the poor logger is now living in a tent outside St Pauls.
Question Author
eouchhhh!!!
lol
Question Author
someone else report me...eh???
I have, Jan has?
How do Bobbs. Sorry I haven't read all of this...what is it you want peeps to report you for?
Question Author
to get rid of this ere fred..LOL

oooohhh gran..lol
Perhaps I should read it lass, to figure out why you want it to go. It is mighty long though. :o/
Just leave it. No one is kicking off about it...
the proverbial storm in a teacup.
Question Author
arrhh the Fortunes sang that DT :-)

41 to 60 of 101rss feed

First Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Last

Do you know the answer?

a joke? or is it true?

Answer Question >>