Calling all Liverpudlians

[carrust]

Scousers....Do you know there are only 11 shop-lifting days left to Christmas...

[glasman]

Hi, Space-Cadet. Being an Irishman who likes a drink, I resent the fact that you did not see fit to add 'drunkard' to my descripition.

[missprim]

Dt I think that's even funnier :-)

[cupid04]

My other name is Cilla [suprise,suprise] And it made me laugh a lurra lurra
lot!

[missprim]

DT Have changed the scouser to an Aussie and have sent to a friend in Australia.

[carrust]

I seemed to have poked a wasp nest (again), but it's nice to see common sense prevailed....If you haven't got a sense of humour don't come onto the jokes section. That's going to be my new year's resolution:-)

[cupid04]

I'm from Essex, you can tell as many Essex girl jokes as you like, I wont be in
the least bit offended!

[carrust]

How do you tell when an Essex girl has an orgasm?

She drops her chips.........

[pa___ul3]

only 'cus it'll take you 'til February to get it Cupid!! ;)

[DTCwordfan]

What does an Essex girl use for protection then, carrust?

A bus shelter.

My favourite - What is the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?

The Essex girl has a higher sperm count.

(All interchangeable with other reqions of course).

And just to prove that I can tell Cornish jokes.

1. Redruth and Camborne have more bakers than anywhere else in the UK/
Why? - They are all in-bread.

2. St Just man goes to the station terminus at Penzance, up to the ticket counter. In a rich Cornish dialect, he asks
"I'd like a return ticket, please, Madam."
"Where to, Sir?"
"Bleddy well here of course, where do you think?"

[missprim]

Old Liverpool joke.
Scouser woman waiting for a bus in Liverpool.
When the bus stops woman asks driver
'Is this bus going to Speke?'
Driver,' What do you think I am a bloody ventriloquist?

[carrust]

Definition of confusion in Liverpool?

Fathers Day..........

[DTCwordfan]

Liverpool John Lennon International airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car".

Apparently it had tax and insurance and the radio was still in it.

True story - we had offices near Chester and used a limo company, Tristar. One of the drivers went with a brand new Volvo to JLI to meet an incoming employee, returning home. Just short of the airport he pulls over to check on the address and route. Goes to his trunk (boot) to retrieve his briefcase with the details and some Scouser jumps in and drives off into this awful Speke housing estate - no way he was going in there. One "lost" Volvo.


And that stalwart of the football club.....

Gerrard: "Liverpool is a magical place."

Probably explains why so much stuff disappears there...

[tamborine]

awww, you aint too popular carrust - here's a booby prize

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=w136sk&s=5

[carrust]

Thanks for that tambo. I feel honoured

[TheTruthHere]

Mark you missed out
( Mildred i think it is Tuesday )

[missprim]

Dt you should post your jokes separately in the Jokes section where other people can enjoy them.
Just going to copy and paste the one about JL airport and send to my friends.

[zebo]

Can I object, on behalf of all others who live in Norfolk, at being omitted as a group from all this merriment. I'll share a High 6 with anyone over the festive season. Definition of a Norfolk virgin, a girl who can run faster than her brother.

[DTCwordfan]

Now you will have me in trouble with 4getmenot and Lottie but here is one:

My girlfriend has just left me for a guy from Norfolk. She says he's better at foreplay.

To be fair, I can't compete, he has 7 fingers on each hand.