Chicken Drumstick, Pork Pie, Glass Of...
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Scots funnies
A woman walks into a baker's and asks: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" The baker replies:"No, you're right, hen, it's a doughnut."
What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings - Walt disnae.
A woman goes to the dentist and settles down into the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist. "Govan" She replies.
A man walks into an antiques shop and asks "How much for the set of antlers?" "Two hundred quid" says the man behind the counter. "That's affa deer," says the man.
What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its holidays? A skean dhu.
Question. There are 50 cows in a field. Which one is going on holiday? Answer. The one with the wee calf.
Ten cows in a field – which one is the one with all the oil? Coo eight.
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. "No," argues the assistant, "look at the label – it says Taiwan."
A woman walks into a butchers shop to see the butcher standing in front of the fire. “Is that Ayrshire bacon” she asks, “Naw” he replies, “ Ah’m jist warmin ma hauns”
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What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings - Walt disnae.
A woman goes to the dentist and settles down into the chair. "Comfy?" asks the dentist. "Govan" She replies.
A man walks into an antiques shop and asks "How much for the set of antlers?" "Two hundred quid" says the man behind the counter. "That's affa deer," says the man.
What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its holidays? A skean dhu.
Question. There are 50 cows in a field. Which one is going on holiday? Answer. The one with the wee calf.
Ten cows in a field – which one is the one with all the oil? Coo eight.
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing. "No," argues the assistant, "look at the label – it says Taiwan."
A woman walks into a butchers shop to see the butcher standing in front of the fire. “Is that Ayrshire bacon” she asks, “Naw” he replies, “ Ah’m jist warmin ma hauns”
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