T_C's Competiton

DTCwordfan | 19:16 Sun 08th Apr 2012 | Jokes

23 Answers

Tommy Cooper favs:

"Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''

LMFAO.........

Employment

Answers

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sibton

Best Answer

A man walked into a bar OUCH
It was an iron bar

19:26 Sun 08th Apr 2012

Go To Best Answer

tenrec

Lovely

Psybbo

A man walked into a bar OUCH
It was an iron bar

DTCwordfan

Question Author

tut sibton, late tonight, had that one over on carrust's flood of jokes this evening

Psybbo

humph not playing any more

DTCwordfan

Question Author

Sqad, "I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home.'"

He said: "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?" I asked.

"It's not unusual," Sqad replied.

DTCwordfan

Question Author

aaawww sibton, we love you!

percypineapple

the old ones are the ....

old ones.

DTCwordfan

Question Author

well percyp, show your colours and produce one for us to criticise.

Psybbo

Aw dtc you are such a sweetheart x

DTCwordfan

Question Author

old softie.....

percypineapple

I am thinking hard, very difficult at this time of day/night, know loads of paddy jokes, and unfortunately lots of racist jokes, (because of where i was brought up,)
so am trying hard to find something that won't offend.
Blonde joke, may have come from answer bank, I don't remember, but I thought it was good, especially if you can sort of mimic the blonde girls answer.
Three astonauts were talking, two male and one blonde female.
the first male said " our captain said we are going to land on mars tomorrow.
The other male astronaut said " My captain said" we are going to land on Venus tomorrow"
The blonde girl said " my captain said we are going to land on the sun tomorrow". the other two astronauts were aghast and said " you can't land on the sun, you will get burnt to death before you even get anywhere near it"
She said " oh, you sillies, we are going at night"
Magic.

DTCwordfan

Question Author

almost essex in nature, percyp......

Psybbo

bottle glass glass bottle - it's in my glass now cheers

DTCwordfan

Question Author

I've just opened a new one, a Bordeaux (seriously).

Frenchman was really tired of drinking just water. So he decided that he should start drinking wine. Do you know what kind of wine he drinks? Bordeaux!