Mammograms

[tamborine]

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect.. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tyre of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there.......

MENtal illness, MEN strual cramps, MEN tal breakdown,
MENopause..............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Have a laugh but don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!

[gness]

Glad you weren`t there at the same time then Daisy. I would have been really stinky when I left.

[chi-chi66]

I don't have a lot to begin with, so it feels like they're squeezing a big spot,lol
maybe thats why I find it uncomfortable Bella.

[boxtops]

No difference with confidentiality, daisy - people might see you going in, but they'd see you going it to hospital too. Your notes are confidential, makes no difference.