The missus.

[tonyav]

Just said to the missus..... '' Hey fat gut... what do you want for Valentines Day.'' She said '' Don't get f*cking lippy''
I said '' Mascara it is then !''

[Sqad]

LOL

[Sqad]

LOL....LOL....LOL.....I am laughing just thinking of my story that i have told on here before....LOL.........LOL

Bloke walked into a bar and two fat birds were sitting on the bar stools, buttocks hanging over the stools, fat arms and he thought a hint of a Scottish accent.

"Are you two birds from Scotland?" he asked.

"No Wales"

"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?" he replied.

LOL.........LOL........good eh?......."are you two whales...LOL

[missprim]

Oi you two, pack it in.

[tonyav]

LOL @ sqad ( careful you'll get us both banned ).

[tenrec]

I've just switched on here and read the above jokes. I nearly wet myself laughing. I'm now going to the bathroom, goodbye.