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Why Jewish daughters need therapy

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marval | 17:50 Sat 18th Aug 2012 | Jokes
15 Answers
Jewish Mother: “Hello?”

Daughter: “Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?”

Jewish Mother: “You’re going out?”

Daughter: “Yes.”

Jewish Mother: “With whom?”

Daughter: “With a friend”

Jewish Mother: “I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.”

Daughter: “I didn’t leave him. He left me! ”

Jewish Mother: “You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.”

Daughter: “I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? ”

Jewish Mother: “I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.”

Daughter: “There are lots of things that you did, and I don’t.”

Jewish Mother: “What are you hinting at? ”

Daughter: “Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.”

Jewish Mother: “You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?”

Daughter: “My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!”

Jewish Mother: “So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?”

Daughter: “He’s not a loser.”

Jewish Mother: “A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.”

Daughter: “I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? ”

Jewish Mother: “Poor children with such a mother.”

Daughter: “Such a what?”

Jewish Mother: “With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.”

Daughter: “ENOUGH!!! ”

Jewish Mother “Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! ”

Daughter: “Now you’re worried about the loser? ”

Jewish Mother: “Ah, so you see he’s a loser. I spotted him immediately.”

Daughter: “Goodbye, mother.”

Jewish Mother: “Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over?

Daughter: “I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!”

Jewish Mother: “If you never go out, how do expect to meet anyone?
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Tee-hee - glad I'm not Jewish.
Probably not very PC but excruciatingly funny, and perhaps not far from the truth.
LOL excellent, marval
Question Author
It came from a Jewish source.
When I lived in London this was a part of every day life. Love it.
oh gawd is my mother jewish and I never knew
Thought it sounded kosher.
jaza love to you and micmak
ha ha ha this sounds sooooooooooo familiar with my nan god rest her :)
Mazeltov!
Hi Sibton. Love to you too. Mic is in bed but has not been too bad today. ♥
oh jeza you take care hugs to you both
I'll have em for a few hours, tell em to bring their Jim-Jams.

Good un Marval :)

jem
Great - can just imagine Maureen Lipman of the BT advert "you have an ology?" saying this.
so true, so true. sounds just lke my mother - god rest her soul.

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