Bikes...

[Jemisa]

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn"t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman..."Mr Cook?""Yes," I replied."I"m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike."I said, "That"s ***, "cause my dog doesn"t have a bike!"

I"m sure that, like me, you are very proud of our Olympic cycling gold medal winners. Truly, they are sporting heroes who have done wonders for British sport.I can"t wait for them to return home, when they will once again become w@nkers in Spandex who clog up the roads and get in the bl00dy way of cars.

[boxtops]

I like 1 and 2 but I think No. 3 is way out of order, jem. It's just not funny. Having said that, tabatha's comment is out of order too.

[boxtops]

^^ oh dear, she's been suspended, Ed's on the ball tonight.

[mrs.chappie]

How do Jem. I'm still chuckling at number 2.

[askyourgran]

Looks like tabaz is still with us boxy, pity.

Jem as boxy says first two OK, last one not that good.

[boxtops]

she may be with us but her avatar says "suspended", gran....

[askyourgran]

Ah so she is.:-)

[askyourgran]

Correction He is

[Jemisa]

Tabatha, I've been there, had that, seen it, & have got the tee shirt.

( Your profile says you are male so why have you got a girls name?

[boxtops]

George, Ed can't see every post before it goes live - but HE's been suspended, and quite right too IMO, so someone must have reported it as offensive to jem.

[baza]

If you find a particular persons jokes offensive,don't bother to read them, simple!

[Jemisa]

I'M SORRY, to those who found joke 3 offensive, looking at it again I can agree & I'm sorry. Here's one hopefully that will put that right...


An engineering student was walking across campus with a shiny new mountain bike when he was approached by a friend, also an engineering student. The friend said, "Hey, where"d you get the great looking bike?"The first engineer replied, "Well, i was walking across campus the other day. This beautiful woman rode up to me on her bike, ripped off all her clothes, laid down on the ground and said "Take anything you want!!!"

"The second engineer replied, "Good choice. Her clothes probably wouldn"t have fit you anyway!"


Jem

[mrs.chappie]

^^^That's a cracker, Jem. :o)

[boxtops]

I don't think you needed to replace it, jem... :-)

[askyourgran]

lol Jem :-)

[starone]

Can't win 'em all jem as we have both found out in the past. Personally I thought there was a touch of truth in the third one and a pity we don't supply more training centres to cure it.